Benjamin Sisko
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[edit] life
Born and raised in St. Louis to a father, a cook, and a mother who was a hippy that had been "possessed" by a "prophet" from some planet almost nobody had heard of. Sisko, with good reason, believed this "prophet" was just a euphemism for crack cocaine. Always wanted to be a Star Fleet officer and see the stars and all of that romantic crap, just like every Star Trek character ever. Sisko married and spawned with. His wife, while in Saint Louis, was killed by Hurricane Borg. Sisko became depressed, angry, and resentful after this point, essentially becoming a brooding emo pussy until the end of the first season of DS9. He was so depressed that he then turned the "prophets" his mother had. He then saw "visions" of his late wife, again and again, probably from sleep deprivation due to being on crack all the time.
Prone to temper tantrums Sisko would not think anything of chewing his crew out for incompetance while pacing back and forth in his own offic, hands held behind his back and growling in a way that made Even Worf clench his buttocks that little bit tighter. He was however also very well versed in reverse pyschology and intimidation, often tricking members of his own crew to do things he wanted them to do that they didn't, or getting alienss to stay in the station to run businesses. In this way he poached O'Brian and Worf from Picard and got them to do much better work then they ever had before while on a so called flagship.
On their first meeting he made Picard shit his pants by doing something Picard never thought was possible, Sisko hinted he was thinking of leving Starfleet.
He also designed, built, decorated and personally piloted the USS Defiant on it's maiden voyage to DS9. It was a ship remarkable by Starfleet standards in that it was designed to actually WIN a fight! On Tuesdays he let O'Brian play around with it and change the oil. The ship was tested one time for popular consumer TV show "Top Gear" now geared from expensive cars that the viewers could never afford in their lifetimes, to econimically destructive to produce starsips that an entire planet could never afford without some serious loans. Crewed by Jeremy Clarkson, The Hamster, that bloke who looks like a cocker spaniel and The Stig. It was all going well untill they decided to extend their test of the ship into an asteroid belt, at which point, they prombly collided with the Millenium Falcon pursued by Tie Fighters and wound up tying to re-enact the Death Star trench run, even though there was no Death Star nearby and a Star Destroyer doesn't have a trench to run in.
Sisko personally beamed over and beat them all to an inch of their lives before returning the Defiant to it's proper place.
Sisko is one of the few people in Starfleet not to have engaged in anal sex with Dr Crusher therefore taking him out of the running of even remotley being Wesleys real father. He has however had sex with both his first officer, Kira Nerys and science oficer Jadzia Dax, albeit this was their mirror universe counterparts, he at least got the stuf recorded and posted on the net.
Being part God Sisko has found himself strangley avoided by other god like entities, Q showed up once, and only once and was promptly punched out. This physical contact shocked Q so much he realised he was in the presence of another God, and promptly warned the other Gods not to come near DS9 because they all have glass jaws.
It has been theorised that had any Shran showed up on DS9 and refered to Sisko by his skin colour, Sisko would have punched Shran THROUGH a bulkhead so hard, that Weyoun and Brunt would have bruises and be limping on their next apperances.
Country to popular belief, Sisko did not go bald then get promoted, he grew a beard first THEN shaved his head and was promoted, although he did order Kira not to follow his trend.
Sisko has been known to be the most gung ho and in your face Captain since Kirk, willing to shoot first and ask questions later, beat members of stronger aliens races up in a fight and bore people to death his monotone voice, all at the same time.
[edit] Reasons why "Benny" is the best Captain
- 1. Other Captains fought Gods, he WAS one (Emissary still counts).
- 2. Other captains just fly off somewhere after they fuck up a civilization, Sisko stays around to pick up the pieces.
- 3. He Punched Q..
- 4. and he was surprised...
- 5. and he never bothered him again.
- 6. His sentient Hologram gave friendly advice, not take over the ship or have a bad attitude.
- 7. The prophets told him that Voyager would get lost in the Delta quadrent and he decided not to tell Janeway because he knew that it would lead to some interesting adventures, thats why he isn't in the Voyager Pilot
- 8. He can sing Swing (not ponsy sea shantys or Row row row row row row row your boat)
- 9. Other Captains fought the Romulans, he just Tricked them into doing what he wants
- 10. He had the Balls to start a Proper War!! (not some pointless Klingon civil war that lasted two minutes).
- 11. He had Worf and O'Brien and he got more out of them than Picard ever did.
- 12. He's Black, that just makes him one Bad muthafucka!.
- 13. Kirk/Archer was racist agianst Klingons, Sisko was the target of racism.
- 14. His security Officer was a changeling. (thats cool)
- 15. He fought Gul Dukat and he ISN't the nicest man ever!!!
- 16. Sisko had to travel back in time just to save Kirk's sorry ass....
- 17. and he was still pleased to meet him....
- 18. even though Kirk didn't say anything back to him.
- 19. He hardly had any sexual tension with his first officer. (he didn't need a "Will they? or won't they?" storyline)
- 20. Yes his ship was smaller but it had a cloaking device.
- 21. Sisko looks after his son.
- 22. He had a real bar on his station, that served REAL beer not that Sissychol pisswater.
- 23. and he had an original bar, not one that was made from the leftovers from 10-forward (Voyager).
- 24. He likes real sports like Baseball not ponsy Fencing.
- 25. He didn't need a pet to keep him company, he wasn't sad.
- 26. Sisko fought a guy who could be killed up to 7 times. (actually?...isn't odd that the guy who COULD be killed seven times WAS?)
- 27. He's as smart as Picard and as Gun-ho as Kirk, without being uptight or sleazy as either. (actually I really like Picard too.)
- 28. He made the name Sisko cool. (remember that thong song guy?... no?... me neither)
- 29. He made a Starfleet officer out of a ferengi.
- 30. He pwned the Cardassians, Picard got captured and then decided to stay away from them.
- 31. He had an English guy on his crew. I'm English and it was good to see some English good guys for a change. (i'm not counting Malcolm Reed because he was SO dull and i'm not counting Picard because he was actually French)
- 32. He teared the universe a new wormhole.
- 33. He fought the Dominion and judging by the number of continious episodes it took to defeat them they were the hardest Villians in Star Trek.
- 34. Sisko didn't have to take down a Death star rip-off. (y'know that Xindi thing, although Archer did blow it up in a more plausable, if less impressive way)
- 35. He went mad several times and the crew STILL trusted his leadership.
- 36. He looks after the women ho knocks up.
- 37. He wouldn't have taken any racial shit from that Blue Bastard shran.
- 39. His show ran for seven seasons. (so did Picards an Janeways but when you consider his Space Station never went anywhere thats some fucking achievement, Well Done Writing staff.
- 40. His show saw the first Lesbian kiss on prime time American TV.
- 41. His first officer was a Terrorist and America still loved her...
- 42. .....as a matter of fact his entire crew had shady pasts. Jadzia was a Pyscho in a previous life, O'brien was in a criminal organization, Worf was repeatedly dishonoured, Odo dealt drugs to orphans, Dr. Bashir was illegialy engineered and we all know about Quark. So it would take sisko (and only sisko) to keep them all in check.
- 43. He could cook. Imagine Kirk trying to cook gumbo, it would take him three hours just to read out the ingredients.
- 44. He would kill his own Father if he thought he was Changeling.
- 45. He had Morn.
- 45. His bartender had interesting storylines and didn't keep wining about how his people had been pwned by the Borg.
- 46. He would never EVER be in advert for World of Warcraft, Nintendo DS or fucking Bran flakes.
[edit] See Also
| Captains |
James T. Kirk - Jean-Luc Picard - William Riker - Kathryn Janeway - Jonathan Archer |
| Other people |
Data - Dr. Leonard McCoy - Tuvok - Kira Nerys - Gul Dukat - Pavel Chekov - Q - Scotty - Spock - Weyoun - Worf - Leslie |
| Species | |
| Other things |
Borg Collective - Captain's log - Holodeck - Klingon checkers - Prime Directive - The United Federation of Planets - Trekkie - Tribble - USS Enterprise |
