Bethlehem

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Bethlehem is the Alpha, Omega, and Zed of Pennsyltuckian towns. Yes, Jesus Christ was born in Pennsylvania.

[edit] History

Bethlehem was created whenever it was Pennsylvania decided it would be cool to have a bunch of towns from the Bible. Things happened, and some people made a lot of steel. Then the steel was replaced by poor, the workers were replaced by hispanics, and the managers were replaced by professors, and empty land was replaced by convenience stores and shady buildings like "EZ MONEY LOLZ"

There was once an article written about Bethlehem on a website. Here it is!

D Stock founded the town in 1769, when immigrating from Bangladesh. He had to suck many Native American cock to acquire this land.

In 1430 E.G. someone put an enormous fucking building along Route 22.2, dominating the skyline, which is only visible from Further South Bethlehem (see below), so it doesn't really matter anyway.

[edit] Facts. Totally.

Bethlehem, in its 4 million year existence, has never been occupied by people who wanted to live there.

South Bethlehem and North Bethlehem are both considered Bethlehem, despite being separated by several layers of wealth, water, and cheesecloth.

South Bethlehem can be subdivided into two sections: South Bethlehem and Further South Bethlehem. South Bethlehem is only two blocks wide at its widest. Further South Bethlehem consists of land owned by Lehigh , and land rented by people that Lehigh University owns. The dividing line is easily noticed. If you get clipped by a rusted box on four wheels, you are in South Bethlehem. If you get clipped by a car that costs more than you do, you are in Further South Bethlehem. If you get clipped by a camel, you are in another Bethlehem. In this respect, Mexico is to South Bethlehem as America is to Further South Bethlehem.

There was once a machete used in a crack-deal gone wrong. I'm dead fucking serious. No, really.

The restaurant choices are more diverse than the population. Quite significant since 22 of the 23 Bethlehem residents belong to the same family.

Nobody is quite sure of exactly what the Banana Factory is. All we know is that it don't sell bananaz!

North Bethlehem was mentioned in Money Magazine as one of the best places to live in the country. South Bethlehem was mentioned pretty much everywhere as Satan's Asscrack.

Bethlehem was never part of the Donkey Pretzel Controversey, But it has waged a war with nearby Nazareth over where Jesus was born. Having said that, Bethlehem has the highest number of Nativity scenes per capita of any place in North America.

Bethlehem's claim to fame is a mention in Billy Joel's song 'Allentown'. On a lesser note, Jesus was born there. So was the Holy Spirit.

With a population of 23, Bethlehem is the largest city in Pennsylvania. It's larger than Philadelphia, whose population is 21, or Pittsburgh, also population 21.