Bhopal disaster

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The author of the article doesn't know what this picture is of, although an educated guess is that it is somehow related to the Bhopal Incident, I mean, Disaster.
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For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Bhopal disaster.

“Insofar as I can muster, there was no 'Bhopal incident' of such”

~ Oscar Wilde on 'The Bhopal Incident'


Bhopal Disaster[edit]

While a Bhopal incident never happened, a Bhopal Disaster did happen.

The Bhopal incident didn't occur on December 3rd 1984, however the Bhopal Disaster did.

What happened?[edit]

Predictably the whole catastrophe incident disaster was caused by masturbation. At about 12 AM, an employee responsble for an important quality-assurance part of the pesticide plant was engaging in such activities when large amounts of crystal meth gases were 'accidentally' released and 500,000 people were exposed to 'dat shit'.

Holy Fuck dude, did like, 500,000 people die?![edit]

Nah m8, it was liek, a few thousand ppl innit?

Wait, what?[edit]

People with large brains and/or a tendency to make up bullshit put death figures at around 8,000 to 10,000 within the first 72 hours, and 25,000 to date.

On the other hand, the government, realising it couldn't totally bullshit, made an official figure of about 7 people. Rambo called bullshit, and, fearing for their safety, the official figure was raised to 3789.

Aftermath[edit]

Don't mess with Indians. Otherwise they'll come over to your nearest nuclear power plant and masturbate instead of stopping it blowing up. Nah, just kidding; it was an accident. Probably.

People have a tendency to be dicks, and the people of India weren't going to just forget it all. They expected someone to be punished.

However, in its wisdom the goverment decided that admitting masturbation may inadvertenly result in thousands of deaths was a bad idea. Officially, nobody was persecuted because 'meh, I don't give a shit. Do you give a shit?'

Fortunately the facility is now safely contained and nearby citizens are safe[edit]

The government did a whole lot in reaction to the incident disaster and didn't let hundreds of tonnes of chemicals leak to this day, so it's all good.

In conclusion[edit]

Remove this nonsense.

See also[edit]