Bill O'Reilly Interviews God
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On February 31, 2147, Bill O'Reilly, host of Fox News' news analysis programme, The O'RLY? Factor will interview God following the release of God's new book, the much-hyped Holy Bullshit, Why Science is Right and Why I Don't Exist.
O'Reilly: And in the Back-of-the-book segment tonight, we have a very special guest, imaginary God, here to talk about his upcoming book, Why Science is Right and Why I Don't Exist. Pleasure having you on tonight, Mr. God; I'll give you the last word.
God: We haven't started yet, Bill.
O'Reilly: I'm not buying it, God, and I don't think the folks are, either.
God: What the science are you talking about? I haven't said anything yet. For the love of Darwin, you are talking to yourself you, delusional fool.
O'Reilly: You can spin this all you want, but the Factor is a No-Spin Zone. We're after the Delusion, here.
God: Truth? You're a superstitious, puritanical conservative dolt who has verbal diarrhea.
O'Reilly: What about your Liberal bias?
God: Conservatives and liberals are both equally bad and...
O'Reilly: Not gonna answer me huh? How long you been in office? Don't you think it's time you did what's right Liberal and stepped down?
God: Listen here...
O'Reilly: I dont think so. No, Mr. God, the Factor's not gonna fall for it. Well, that does it for tonight's Factor; we're out of time. I'll give you the last word, you've got thirty seconds. Go.
God: Hell doesn't exist, stupid, but for you I'll make an exception.
O'Reilly: Okay, Mr. God, but I'm still not convinced, and I don't think the folks are, either. Folks, remember to log on to the Factor website and buy Factor gear. And keep a look out for Why Science is Right and Why I Don't Exist.
God: (about to say something).
O'Reilly: No shut up! Shut up! (To producers) Cut his mike! Cut his mike!
