Binghamton
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Binghamton is a truck-stop between Elmira and New York City in the state of New York.
[edit] History
Binghamton was founded by a sadist named William Bingham in 1792, with aspirations of making it the sphinkter of the world. His dream has slowly become fulfilled as it became historically notorious for being the former Northeastern Headquarters of the KKK. Not too long after, it became the sixth most important nuclear target during the cold war in the United States, not because of Lockheed Martin, but just because it is Binghamton. It was also the birthplace of IBM, and a bunch of other companies that moved out because this place is too much like Canada for anyone sane to live, but without the free medications for coping with the sucky climate.
Today, it is remembered for IBM giving punchcards to Nazis to aid the holocaust. Binghamton is so shitty, even Binghamton University is in the Town of Vestal.
Since then, Binghamton has slowly been reconstructing with more houses and nursing homes bringing no new revenue. It is currently looking into the possibility of a nuclear waste disposal site, both for revenue and to spite Long Islanders.
[edit] Binghamton's Current Claims to Fame
- It is owned by the Ackles and Newman Development group, under whom Binghamton's citizens are indentured servants.
- It is the cloudiest city in the United States.
- The Belmar
- It has a hippie quarantine zone known as the Cyber Cafe, leaving the streets free of the stench of shitty weed and patchouli.
- It suffers from an infection of old people.
- 25% of its citizens are below poverty line, making it even more poor than that hobo ridden city Michael Moore is from.
- The midget nerd from The Benchwarmers ran for mayor of Binghamton in 2005 under the alias "Douglas Walter Drazen."
- Binghamton University has brought in a whole new era of worthlessness into the city by attracting Long Islanders to the area.
- It has been rated the most bland and cold-hearted city in the world.
