Biography of Pikachu

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

BIOGRAPHY Every bit of this article actually happened.

Contents 1 BIRTH 2 TEENAGERS 3 ADULTHOOD (19-30) 4 A TURN FOR THE WORSE 5 A SOLUTION

[edit] BIRTH

Pikachu (realname: Pia Churissomo) grew up in some hellhole in Italy. He had two brothers, Raichu, and The Fonz. He also had one sister, Maia Clefairo. He was raped approzimately 1,832 time by his sister and his mother. It seemed that he grew tired of the buttsecks his mother and sister wer forcing him to do, so he and Fonzzie ran out their huff-den-looking house.

[edit] TEENAGERS

As Pikachu and Fonz turned 18, they were involved in a gang. The gang consisted of Squirtle, Dark Magician, Dark Magician Ho, Onyx, and the leader, Blue-Eyes Shit Dragon.

After the third gang war against Digimon, Dark Magician was killed. Since he was gone, and she had badly injured Fonz, Pikachu raped her 100 times and killed her, even knowing they were engaged.

[edit] ADULTHOOD (19-30)

By 19 years of age, they had quit the gang, along with Squirtle. They then lived in a huff-den, huffing kittens for atleast a year.

A TRAGEDY

By the age of 20, The Fonz had died of a huffing overdose. Pikachu blamed himself, and tried to slit his wrist on March 29, 2000. He would have died if it had not been for Squirtle. Pikachu and Squirtle. A few months later, he met Squirtle's other friend. A homosexual, white, swastika-eyed Bulbasaur. After the death of Fonz, the party swore off of Huff forever.

Staying off of huffing after huffing for a year was fucking hard. They had tried everything. Then, on December 31, 2001, they had done something drastic. They huffed a Siamese kitten (you cannot huff a Siamese kitten without getting Huffer's Syndrome). Then Pikachu and Squirtle got the disease cured, but foud out that Bulbasaur had terminal Super AIDS.

[edit] A TURN FOR THE WORSE

By the age of 34, Squirtle had a full time, miminum-wage job, so could hardly ever see Pikachu. Pikachu stopped seeing Bulbasaur in the hospital because his mood-swings were getting more dramatic, and the doctor said that he should stay away because Bulbasaur may umintentionally kill Pikachu. Bulbasaur died when Pikachu was almost 35 years old.

When he was 36, his life went into total hell. In this photo, he is caught in a gay bar.

[edit] A SOLUTION

In the end, and to this very day, Pikachu is now traveling with his pimp, Ash. The best coincidence Pikachu had ever seen, is that this was the same job Squirtle had gotten!