Bipolar disorder
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[edit] Bipolar disorder's duplicitous origins
Bipolar disorder, also known as 'happy happy-not not' disease, is A psychosomatic condition developed in the early to late 1970'S (Not to be confused with Manic Depression which is an Impact Crater caused by maniacally leaping out of airplanes AT 20,000 Feet!).
[edit] Historical progression
Prior to 1670 sufferers of this illness were locked away in artist's lofts and poets' corners and kept away from the general public. It wasn't until the 21st century that the thinking changed regarding this mysterious malady. In May of 2005 renowned scientist Dr. Tom Cruise made the earth-shattering announcement before a stunned Harvard School of Psychological Sciences that bipolar disorder is "all in your head."
[edit] Causes and treatment
Scientists once believed that bipolar disorder was caused by a combination of parental, chocolate, and environmental factors. Most commonly the onset of this disorder would be linked to a fat, poorly dressed mother who forced her family to act normal when daddy came home drunk and used a shotgun to rid the dining room of it's cockroach problem. This stressful environment would then cause Junior to become the school bully and later in life, the chatroom troll. Modern science has since come to realize that children should be screened and not heard, and simply lock up the troublemakers in military school or an abandoned warehouse by a pier with pit bulls and feral cats who are really hungry.
As a result, President Bush has added Bipolar disorder to the list of psychosomatic illnesses no longer covered by Medicaid. According to White House spokesman Bill O'Reilly, "Yay! More money for the war chest."
[edit] Symptoms
Bipolar disorder manifests itself in numerous ways, most notably:
Depression: Tailgating interstate drivers who dare to drive only 85 mph; loss of interest in drugs and alcohol; difficulty oversleeping; inability to wait in long lines at the DMV.
Mania: Capable of infinite Uncylopedia one-liner entries due to decreased need for sleep; increased chatroom spamming and flooding; increased goal-directed activity such as prank phone calls and bathroom graffitti.
Fits of uncontrollable laughter followed by sobbing: This tends to happen wh-wh-whhhaaaahhahahahahahahaahahahahahahah omg omg omg *sob* I hate my life!! Aaaahhhhh *sob* *sob* whatamIcryingabout hahahahahahaah!
[edit] An Article by one suffering from Bipolar Disorder
Well I am having alot of trouble but hey you know it isn't all that bad now isn't it. I mean except for those few FREAKING RETARDED LITTLE BIATCHES WWHO DON"T EVER LEAVE ME ALONE o I'm sorry I had a little slip there. I mean it isn't your fault they are the way they are Untill you join them ahhhh ahahahahahaaaaaaaaa(sob sob sob sob sob sobsob) hey have you seen my cute little kitten theirs a real funny storie about him but he isn't with us today because one day i had a little accident. Now my mom won't let me have a pet anymore CAUSE SHE IS A RETARD MOTHER F-ER I MEAN WHY CAN'T I...
Another Article by one suffering from Bipolar Disorder: "Yo people! So I've got Bipolar right? Tch, no biig deal at all. CEPT FOR THE FACT THAT YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF NO GOOD-Er....I'm sorry...really...I just get mad pretty easily. You forgive me right? Right? Sob Sob Sob sob Oh wait you forgive me? Okay YOU'RE LYING! YOU DON'T FORGIVE ME AT ALLLL! "
[edit] Treatment
Drugs and therapy. Some of those drugs are not prescribed. Your best friend telling you to "jump off a cliff" because you slept with his girlfriend can be classed as negative therapy.
[edit] Notable bipolar sufferers
Simon Cummins user chip-3door, now made famous by his irrational and uncontrollable outbursts in the pursuit of attention on internet forums such as passionford is a well known sufferer of this and many other mental illnesses and yet still manages to lead a seemingly normal existence away from the internet.
"im only bi on the net" he is often heard to say, although it would appear this is more of a reference to his sexuality than to his mental disorder, of which he himself seems largely unaware.
The Arctic Tern which annually migrates from the North Pole to the South and back again every year. When in manic mode, it flies from summer to summer. When depressed, it flies from winter to winter with a stop for cyanide nodules at the Galapagos Islands.
Admiral Richard Byrd was definitely bipolar.
Light Yagami was known well for his extreme bipolarness.
Stephen Fry, yeah he has Bipolar.
[edit] Bipolar Disorder in the Media
The Bipolar Express is a children's book on bipolar disorder. The book was written to help bipolar-ridden children come to terms with their terrible, untreatable disease through the jounrey of a bipolar-ridden boy who is on a mental health hospital cleverly disguised as a train with other bipolar-ridden children. The Bipolar Express's destination is Santa Clause Asylum and Zoo in the North Pole, a wonderful place where mentally diseased children are put on display for the entertainment of normal people. During his journey on board the Bipolar Express, he comes to terms with his disease and learns to just accept the fact that he'll never be normal and will have to live a hard life, bearing the brunt of bipolar jokes, satire wikis and being a zoo exhibit.
