BitTorrent

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Stop hand.png Warning The following article has been deemed "ill-propaganda" by Bram Cohen... There are no American forces in Baghdad...

[edit] Torrents

'Torrents' or "'The Comming of the Apocalypse'" as some organisations seem to refer to it have been around since 2001 when Bram Cohen along with Al Gore designed the BitTorrent protocol. Initially Hollywood and the worlds music labels saw great possibilites in this protocol and quickly realised that their somewhat flawed buisness plan was in need for a rework and started looking at how BitTorrent could benefit them in their otherwise successfull plan to bring joy to the world in the form of music and other cultural experiences. The same companies had previusly experimented with distributing their music via such services as Napster and Kazaa without much success. This time however a band of vicius pirates from Sweden offered their help. They offered them free of charge to help distribute these great works of art using this great protocol. How could they refuse such a generous offer? Warner and Universal soon after founded 'The Pirate Bay' which at the time was the cheapest and most extensive music shop on the internet. This was all to change though. The dark lord himself, known only as Steve Jobs soon after learned that countless amounts of data was distributed this way. He later the same year launched iTunes the same program (though under the name Pacman) years before had enthralled entire generations to collect so called dots on which the dark lord feasts. Through this iTunes he would once again regain power of the earth and would be able to feast on the dots of the data transferred. After the launch of iTunes the music labels expressed more and more concern over its increasing popularity. The music labels along with Bram Cohen aproached the last bastion of solidarity, the last collective of communists: Microsoft from which such hero's as Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer fought the capitalist demons of the world.

"Our hero's and comrades; Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer

Alas their struggle was in vain, and as a resoult Music Labels today now have to charge riduculous prices for artists creations and have had to resort to suing their former comrades. The use of BitTorrent has since that day decreased more and more. its today only thought that 7 people use torrents, 5 of them being the complete userbase of World of Warcraft and the last 2 being the heroes of the collective; Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer

Bram Cohen was soon after this incident found missing, and is today thought to be attempting to promote sharing of information in ancient egypt. He is yet to come up with an effective way to distribute papyrus

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