Black Knight

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“The Black Knight always triumphs!”

~ Black Knight on Black Knight

“Fuck PillowPants!”

~ Black Knight on PillowPants

“I'm invincible!”

~ Black Knight on himself

“You're a loony.”

~ King Arthur on the Black Knight

“The Black Knight is an idiot, his vocabulary doesn't consist of anything but "The Black Knight always triumphs"”

~ The White Knight on The Black Knight

“You call this a Knight???”

~ Sir Elton John on Black Knight

“Nigga i rule this shit!”

~ The Black Knight on himself

“is That Guy , This Guy , or is he Black Guy?!”

~ The Black Knight on That Guy , This Guy and Black Guy

Always clad in black, the Black Knight is a mysterious mercenary who's sole mission is defeating rising inflation, British cuisine and grues.

Early Life[edit]

Born in a stinking swamp in the middle of Sherwood Forest the Black Knight was the son of a poor lumberjack and a gay women (and in gay we mean a member of the opposing group of Robin Hood's Merry Men). The shacky shack in which the Black Knight was raised in was extremely dark twenty four seven except at 13:67 standand time. At night times, since his miserable parents couldn't acquire camel piss, which was used by locals as candles and at day time since he was playing stupid jedi force games and stumbled around wearing a black kilt as an eyefold.

Rise to power[edit]

Upon reaching adulthood (which is not easy when you wobble around wearing a bloody kilt on your face all day long) the Black Knight realized that the only thing that really catches his fancy (except for playing kitten huff) is fighting evil. And by evil we mean everyone who seems to cross his path. Soon enough the Black Knight proved himself as a worthy warrior, slaying everyone and everything in Sherwood, including Robin Hood, Merry Man, Gay Man, lesbians, kittens, hamsters and communists. He also cut down the tallest tree in the forest. With a herring.

The Black Knight moves for no man. Women however, are a different story.

Modus Operandi[edit]

Weapons of choice[edit]

The Black Knight will usually be using the following:

How to get into a fight with the Black Knight[edit]

Quite simple - stand in his way or say that the White Knight is better looking.


Surprisingly the Black Knight's worst enemy is the White Knight (altough he really isn't a match. He smells funny as well). Other enemies of the black knight include Ike, Calvin Fuller, King Arthur, the Jabberwocky, Sonic the hedgehog, and the Black Ronin. Needless to say, the Black Knight has triumphed against them all.

Outcome of battles[edit]



Late Life[edit]

Since the Black Knight always triumphs, he cannot possibly grow old.

Why black?[edit]

Many theories were written on the fact that the Black Knight always wears black (otherwise it would have been plain silly to call him the black knight n'est pas?). The truth is, in fact, quite simple: black makes the Black Knight look thinner.

Universal Paradox[edit]

Since the Black Knight always triumphs, and Chuck Norris cannot possibly lose, it is well advised that the rulers of this universe refrain from placing them in the same plane. It may well cause the universe to implode or incur the wrath of god.

Further Reading[edit]