Socks have been around ever since the invention of feet by God. Feet were often seen as a waste of carbon and hydrogen, especially when compared to jetpacks. Never the less, mankind decided to make do with the second rate body parts they had been given and soon invented socks. Inevitably, black socks were soon created.
Many scholars and highly educated minds believe that black socks never get dirty; this is in fact only partially true. As was recently discovered, black socks are actually made entirely out of dirt. The reason that it was only recently discovered was because it is made out of type 2 dirt which is fibrous, stretchy, and often has little colourful designs in it. Type 2 dirt is known to cover most of the continent of Antarctica along with a lot of spice (not ice as previously believed). All these recent discoveries call into question the legitimacy other things that have been "discovered" as well (mainly Greenland and kiwis).
Black socks were originally invented to keep hands warm, but since they were shaped more like feet they were later used to keep elbows cold. Some side effects of wearing black socks include a distortion in the ability to think.
Other uses include:
- A supplement for manure
- Being used as puppets
- For drying wet things, how dry meal was invented
- The prevention of AIDS, and its lover: Super!AIDS
- Keeping feet warm, although it's a highly disregarded use
Aaaaand that's probably it.
Black socks are the main export of Antarctica along with mice which cover most of the continent (not spice as was previously believed). On the New York stock exchange, black socks are worth about $3 000.00 per pair, but due to the logic distortion properties of dirt type 2, they sell them for about $2.00 each. In other places they can be found for the bargain of 50 Cents.
The county that imports the most black socks is France. This is largely believed to be due to the resistance they are planning. How this will help is not yet known. The French claim that this uncertainty is part of their resistance. Everyone else knows that the French are all just a bunch of lunatics. The French are then quotted saying "we know you are, but what are we?".
The author kindly asks everyone to shut up.