Bloody Batter Incident
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[edit] What Was it?
The Bloody Batter Incident is the sole cause of the Flapjack Wars that have raged unchecked since 987 A.D. until now.
[edit] What Started It?
The Bloody Batter Incident began as a friendly meeting in a baking shanty in France. It was to determine the governmentally regulated standard of size, thickness, shape and shoe size of the newly popular breakfast pastry, Flappajackacakes. Being French, the simple discussion got heated, insults were exchanged. When the chef that supported the larger, more powerful FJCs told the chef that supported the thin, dainty, pansy FJCs his soufflés sucked, the second man snapped. He grabbed the nearest pancake and smacked the first chef with it in the face. The first martyr of the Flapjack Wars was killed instantly, along with his table collapsing. An enraged disciple of the martyr grabbed his trusty Flapjack and punted it at his master's table's murderer. The man was vaporized, along with Elmo, who later was found in Oscar's Garbage can and stared in Sesame Street X: Big Bird In Sex Land.
[edit] What Did it Do?
The Bloody Batter Incident kicked off the next thousand years of conflict between the newly formed Flapjack Protectorate and the Pancake Guilds. The first skirmish then spread to all of France, killing trillions, the deaths were covered up by a plague of ravenous chines children sweeping the countryside. The war eventually boiled out of the French borders due to its remarkably weak military. Go figure. Once the war boiled over into neighboring countries, killing millions of men, women, children and tables, it was unstoppable.
[edit] When Did it End?
Finally at 7:51 on 6/29/07, The Flying Flapjack finally appeared and declared the true enemy to be the waffle who had harshly insulted the two contenders and declared war on the waffle.
