Bob Crane

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Robert Edward "Bob" Crane
[[File:0000BobCrane.jpg|200px|Robert Edward "Bob" Crane]]
Date of birth: 13 July 1928
Place of birth: Stalag 13
Nationality: U S OF A
Died 29 June 1978
Scottsdale, Arizona.
You Don't Want to know
Known for Hogan's Heros, Home Movies
Occupation Actor, "Flim Maker"
Religion Jebus
Children One(Known)

Robert Edward Crane (July 13, 1928June 29, 1978) Was an American actor and, well, let say early home movie pioneer.

Early Life[edit]

Bob Crane was born in Waterbury, Connecticut. He had an All American Childhood. He got sright "A"s in school, went to church every Sunday, became an Egale Scout and always help Aunt Bee clear the table. He always made sure the neighbors wife was taken care of sex with the neighbors wife and forced old women to drink martini glasses full of seaman.


In 1951 Crane was given his frist break, he was offered a job at WLEA in Hornell, New York. He is offten considered be the Rush Limbaugh of the 1950s by many historians. Unfortunately Crane was fired by the station in 1957 after he had cameras installed in ladies room. Crane stated he just want to make sure there were no perverts lurking around.


Crane's first band Himmlers Hurmants

After leaving Radio, Crane began his musical career as a drummer. Though being trained as a Jazz drummer, drummer for many rock groups such as the Les Garçons de la Plage Arthur Hodgson and the Kneecaps. and ''The Rutles''. In 1962 Crane auditioned to replace Pete Best for the then unkown Beatles. Unfortunately crane was past over for the more talanted Ringo Starr.

Hogan's Heros[edit]

In 1965 Crane scored the Role of a lifetime when he was selected to be lead in the newCBS Sitcom Hogan's Heros. An hilarious romp about what a gas it was to in a Nazi POW camp. Crane Played the witty POW Col. Hogan.

Hogan and company escape from Stalag 13

Hogan and fellow inmates always got in to the darndest shenanigans, tricking the Nazi and such. Opposite Crane was Werner Klemperer, who played the bumbling Col. Klink. Hogan would always trick Klink and the show would generaly end with big laugh. the Show was praised for showing the truth, that Nazi Camp were no worse than summer camps and POWs were just whiney bitchs. The Show ended in 1971 when members of VFW stormed the set, killing half the cast; thankfuly Crane survived.


After Hogan's Heros ended Crane found himself artistically freed. During the run of Hogan's Heroes, sitcom costar Richard Dawson introduced Crane to John Carpenter, who worked in the stock room at Sony Electronics - and could acquire early VCRs. Crane soon be came a home movie enthusiast. Cranes's Art Flims are considered by some to be better than Warhol's flims. Crane is also considerd to be the father of Girls Gone Wild


  • Sir Lancelot Gets Lanced A Lot(1973)
  • Swallows Cum(Back to Capistrano)(1975)
  • Dirty Sanchez(1976)
  • Get Bob's Dog!(1978)
  • Skull Smasher (1978)


On June 29th 1978 Bob was called up to heavan to be with Jesus. Don't listen to what evil Jewish Librael Commie Media says, He was a good and Honest man.