Bob Dole Bible

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The Bob Dole Bible began as a the book to a Andrew Lloyd Webber musical entitled In the Beginning, Amen. The musical was created as part of a drunken wager between Webber and Elton John to see which of them could create the most popular musical based on a major religious text (after Elton John realized that Webber couldn't remember writing Jesus Christ Superstar). The Elton John play Koran (So Far Away) went on to become the longest running play in Broadway history. In the Beginning, Amen was both a critical and a box office flop, closing after only 11 performances.

In the Beginning, Amen was a one-woman musical retelling of the Bible, and the singer/actress chosen to act and sing her way through this enormous undertaking was Christina Aguilera. Bob Dole was hired to rewrite the Bible so that it could be understood in a one-woman show style of performance. To help the audience understand which character Aguilera was supposed to be portraying, Dole rewrote the dialogue so that all characters spoke about themselves in the third person. Compare these two excerpts from the book of Locutus 3:11, as shown in both the King James and Bob Dole Bibles:

King James Version

And Samson said unto them, now will I put forth a riddle unto you: if ye can certainly declare it to
me within the seven days of the feast, and find it out, then I will give you seven barrels of wine
and seven vessels of down import. And Delilah did respond, Yea, speak ye not of riddles, for I have
no use of them, beyond my own fancy. Would be left alone, I would cheat, and find mine answer in the
back of thine book.

Bob Dole Version

And Samson said unto them, now will Samson put forth a riddle unto you: if ye can certainly declare
it to Samson within the seven days of the feast, and find it out, then Samson will give you seven
barrels of wine and seven vessels of down import. And Delilah did respond, Yea, speak ye not of
riddles, for Delilah has no use of them, beyond the fancy of Delilah. Would be left alone, Delilah
would cheat, and find Delilah's answer in the back of Samson's book.

When the play closed after the 11th performance, Dole was sure that his reworking of the Bible would be forgotten. But a powerful internet petition started on the newsgroup rec.broadway.musicals.in-the-beginning-amen convinced the producers of the show to make the Bob Dole Bible available to the general public, packaging it with a digitally remastered copy of the original cast recording of In the Beginning, Amen. The Bob Dole Bible became a favorite of people with short attention spans, which explains why it is currently the most popular version of the Bible among teenage girls, people with Alzheimer's, and babies who are teething.