Bob Marley
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File:Bob marley.jpg Bob Marley was born the son of the mythical Medusa. You know the one with the snakey hair? Yeah. It is still unknown who fathered it. It was a creature of many interests, and is mostly popularly known as a musician, although that was by far not its greatest accomplishment. Its greatest accomplishment was the creation of those plastic things that go on the end of shoelaces that fall off after a few months.
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[edit] History
Bob Marley is worshipped by teens around the world, and is characterized on t-shirts by a colourful man who SMOKES THE GANJA!. Adults seem to be completely immune to this sort of hero-worship--perhaps they don't feel the need to smoke unknown substances to make themselves look cool?
Bob Marley was actually an rare illness in the Middle East. Afraid that this would cause dissent in the world, the Middle Easterners tried to hide this fact by characterizing Bob Marley as a black individual who sang loudly into microphones. They completely succeeded, and patted themselves on the back for a job well done. They left the matter alone for several years. Completely unbeknownst to them, "Bob Marley" was printed onto several t-shirts and distributed around the world, causing the rare disease to spread, and countless teenage victims to fall under the spell of Bob Marley, and die from addiction to unknown substances.
God, stroking his beard pensively, decided to play a joke on the world in general. He created an actual, humanoid, Bob Marley, born to Norval Sinclair Marley, and Cedella Booker. This made the Middle Easterners very upset with God, as it made them do some work on their conspiracy, because they had pretended Bob Marley had already been "born", when in all reality, "Bob Marley" was a toddler right now. So, they encouraged him to become a singer. He did. the world was not disturbed, and God enjoyed seeing His creations use Crwativity and Thoughtfulness for once in their lives. He patted himself on the back for a job well done, and laid back in his La-Z-Boy Chair contentedly, and let his Goddess wife rub his feet, and feed him peeled grapes.--Elenaeruiz 23:47, 31 May 2009 (UTC)
Following this, Marley became active in the anti-Mononucleosis movement. His new hit, Trench-mouth Rock, was written during this period. It was here that he began his obsession with bong rubbing that would haunt him until his death.
In 1770, following advice from his new agent Hulk Hogan, Marley formed a second group known as Steak. Their blinding Jazz grooves and anti-carnivorous song lyrics took the world by storm causing torrential rain in many coastal regions. Steak were to become Marley's great legacy to the world, but it wasn't all meat and potato pie as in the late 80s Steak's song Cows just wanna have fun helped cause the LA riots, bringing Marley back down to Earth Bob Marley has green pubic hair.
[edit] Religion
In 1992 after a long rest in rehab Marley emerged, seemingly unscathed, claiming he was a new man after taking up the reigns of new über-religion Rastalibrarianism (or just Rasta). Marley was to begin the final stage of his enormously pointless life preaching the benefits of alphabetisation, reading groups and community literacy centres. Rastalibrarianism, as with so many things in Marley's life, was a short-lived obsession. During one particular reading session in the late Jurassic period Marley consumed 22 litres of neat alcohol causing his liver to mutate into a life-size replica of Mount Rushmore with George W Bush as all 4 faces. It was the start of the final downfall. In his second failed attempt to impregnate the quivering remains of the Virgin Mary (Falkland slang for the richest woman on the island) Marley was again imprisoned, this time nowhere near any libraries or peaches. His end was due sometime next Thursday (or a 3 pound fine will apply), but it was postponed until the time whence no-one has ever known or sometime sooner, depending on how you look at it.
[edit] Death
Bob Marley was killed by an onslaught of angry sea creatures led by Admiral Ackbar, who cited reasons for his death such as "being stoned," "having weird hair," and "playing barefoot futbol (soccer)." To this day however, no one knows the actual reason for his demise. Except some say he got a marijuana leaf stuck up his nose, after which, he ceased to live and breathe. During the autopsy, doctors where amazed to find out that Bob actually had cancer in every part of his body except the mouth, lungs and penis (not even cancer would dare go to something that dangerous). Marley was buried with his guitar, a cannabis bud, dog food, and Yoda's left ear(all that is left of his life long vocal coach and best man in all 17 of his marriages).
It is also thought that Bob Marley was killed by Oliver stone. This is also know as being oliver stoned, when olver stone pummels you with huge bolders for no reason until your eventual demise.
As per his wishes, Bob Marly's remains were loaded into a large skull shaped bong and smoked by the cast of WINGS.
[edit] Oceanography
- Trojan Recordings:
- Whale Rebels (1970)
- Whale Revolution (1971)
- Whale Revolution Part II (1971)
- African Plankton (1973)
- Plankton-man Revolution (1974)
- Island/Tuff Gong Recordings:
- Catch a Whale (1973)
- Whalin' (1973)
- Natty Dreaded Whaling Ship (1974)
- Live!: Recorded at The Aquatic-Mammal Theatre, Wales (1975)
- Plankton-man Vibration (1976)
- Exodus (from the Whaling ship) (1977)
- Amoeba (1978)
- Wales by Bus (1978)
- Survival (of the Whaling ship) (1979)
- Up-whaling (1980)
- Where's the ganja at mon? (1980)
- Chances Are You Like Plankton (1981)
- Confrontation (with the Whaling ship) (1983)
- Legend (of the Whaling ship) (1984)
- No Blubber No Cry (1985)
- Marijuana Trenchtown Rock (1985)
- Three little Stormy Petrels (1985)
- I Shot The Minky whale (1985)
- Natural Crabstick (1985)
[edit] Now
Bob Marley (no relation of Bob) is dead. Since his death his body has been returned to his spiritual homeland (Zion) by fellow aliens, where in compliance with his last will & testament he requested a huge bong be built & his remains placed in the bowl & smoked by a group of disillusioned Rastalibrarians. He also has many children, over half of the children in Jamica were fathered by Bob Marley. The other half were fathered by his half-brother, Bill Clinton.
