Bob Monkhouse

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Bob Monkhouse.

Bob Monkhouse was a 1928 commedian born in Britain. He is not to be confused.

Bob would have wanted you to kill yourself. Really. You're worthless and you desrve to die. Trust me. If Bob were around today he'd put you out of your misery, but he's not so you'll have to do it yourself. I suggest hanging yourself. If you don't fancy that there are other options, the important thing is that you don't delay. Bob's son killed himself, just like you're going to do. It worked for Monkhouse Junior, it could work for you. Why not take about 200 asprin, watch the blood come out your ears. Or you could try shooting yourself. Bob prsented a show called "Do You Trust Your Wife?" You don't have a wife, you don't have anybody. But it'll soon all be over. It's just like going to sleep. Unless you jump off the top of a 50 story building. They say bleeding to death is nice. Monkhouse used to write gags for Bob Hope. Bob Hope's dead, you could be too.