Bon Scott

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Bon wants more, damnit!

Bon Scott was the singer and bagpipe abuser of rock band AC/DC, and was responsible for numerous iconic rock songs and teenage pregnancies. He also received international fame and recognition for his stunning death, which is widely regarded as one of the finest rockstar performances in history.

Bon Scott inspired local Perth act Bronze Scott.

Early Years[edit]

Bon Scott (born Dexter Harvish Bottersdam) was born in the town of Kirriemuir, Scotland. Despite his many travels later in his life, he never forgot that he was the only interesting person to ever be born there. After a few short years (in Scotland leap years have a habit of coming all at once), he and his parents emigrated to Australia, ending up in Fremantle (the city that's not Perth). At some point during this time Bon learned to play the bagpipes or his dick, this resulted in him being thrown in prison and labelled "socially maladjusted." Bon also started the trend of combining motorbikes and oncoming traffic to achieve the fashionable missing-teeth look, which has become quite popular among the rock and roll community.

AC/DC[edit]

Angus Young got his school uniform idea from Bon
Main article: AC/DC

Bon Scott officially became a rock god when he joined AC/DC. He had already been living the rockstar lifestyle, as he didn't actually need to be in a band to get free booze and drugs and have women throw themselves at him. Once Bon was in the band the Young brothers received this same treatment. This could either be because Bon was in the band or because Dave Evans wasn't.During this time (1940's) Angus Young spoke for the first time in 8 years to say "What the fuck kind of name is Bon?"They never spoke again.

In 1988, Bon decided to take a break from Fremantle Cemetery and go on tour again. He also embarked on a tour on July 9, 2006, to celebrate his 60th (or 27th-33rd) birthday. He has not yet announced if or when he plans to stay at the cemetery for good.

Death[edit]

There have been many conspiracy theories surrounding Bon's death, because after all, "you can't dust for vomit". Then again, you can't really dust for alcohol poisoning either, and you can only dust for certain types of misadventure. No matter how he died, it is agreed that it was the best thing he ever could have done for his career.

Many fans feel his death was a hoax, including Frank Sinatra, who has stated that Bon moved to Paraguay in 1980 where he lived until 1983, when he was eaten by a bear.

However, far from silencing him, Bon's death has resulting in him becoming the actual God of Rock, and he can frequently be heard preaching Let There Be Rock whenever he feels like it. AC/DC got Brian Johnson as their new lead singer, however Brian forgot to die young, so he's nowhere near as awesome as Bon is.

In Popular Culture[edit]

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Bon Scott.
  • The bonfire gets it's name from Bon Scott.
  • Bon-bons are named after Bon Scott.
  • "Bonnie Scotland" is a corruption of the words "Bon Scott".
  • Scotland was named after Bon Scott.
  • The Bible is a parody of Bon Scott's song Let There Be Rock.
  • The French created the word "bon", which means "good", after Bon Scott.
  • Bon can beat the shit out of Chuck Norris, whilst Mrs Norris holds his coat. As his victory reward, Bon gets to knob Chuck Norris' teenage daughter (unless, she's a munter...but he'd probably do her regardless).

Recently, Australia completely ran out of ideas for movies and decided to make one based on the life of a dead rockstar. They originally planned to use Daryl Braithwaite, until somebody noticed that he was still alive. When one of Bon's 1,247 alleged lovechildren, Ben Scott, decided he was an actor, plans were changed and Bon was chosen as the subject of the film. The makers of the film say they look forward to giving Ben the role.