Borat Sagdiyev
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“ I must make a sexy-time with <insert name here>'s Mother or maybe Mother-In-Law.”
~ <insert name here> on you
“Sexytime very nice!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Borat
“Jagshemash!”
~ Borat on the Department of Homeland Security
“I like you. You like gay people?”
~ Borat on You
“Argh! It a jew! Kill it! Kill it!”
~ Borat on Jon Stewart
“Is funny cause Jon Stewart is a Jew?”
~ Borat on You
“My shirt is black not.”
~ Borat on Benito Mussolini
“You suffer from a severe retardation? ”
~ Borat on You
“Welcome to Uncyclopedia. Is nice!”
~ Borat on Uncyclopedia
“I hate Jews.”
“High five!”
~ Borat on the death of his wife
“Anyone have the gypsy tears? I try to protect myself from the AIDS.”
“I name my son Huey Lewis.”
~ Borat
“Wowowiwo...”
~ Borat on Pamela Anderson
“This is my neighbour. he is pain in my asshole. I buy a window from a glass, he buy a window from a glass, I buy a step, he buy a step, I buy clock-radio, he cannot afford Great Success!”
~ Borat on Neighbour
“Say goodbye to your Clock-Radio asshole!”
~ Neighbour on Borat
“We want arrest these two mens, but they have stole our car. Who we call now?”
~ Kazakh Highway Patrol on Neighbour and Borat
Borat Sagdiyev (Russian/Kazakh: Бoрат Сагдиев) (Order of Kazakhstan) is Kazakh television's number two media personality and my best friend and sole creator of "Borat's Guide To Mars," which were great blowjobs! Borat also Kazakhstan's current Ambassador to the US and A and hold title of Crappiest Man In All of Kazakhstan as well as most overquoted penis in the American media. From the maker of Ali G and Bruno, Borat is a new and improved version of the funny Englishman Sasha Baron Cohen who happens to be something Borat hates.
During the Russian-American Cold War, Borat also prove himself great general. He kill all enemy plow womans and horse and make much damage to enemy catapult. Borat's master war techniques includes rape, shoot, pillage, burn, and money extortion. Kazakhstan emerged victoriously. Great success! High Five! But the most criticized things in Borat is Plagiarism, he never cited nor documented his jokes sources, a Lebanese reported came up with a name (told to be Borat's main source), the name comes back to a 18 year-old Lebanon guy who comes out with the original jokes... He goes undercover under the name of "DON" but he was disclosed to be Hany Rizk...
Borat also drive a Hummer, but not to compensate.
He travel to Almaty City when he were a 9 for to find job and get cleaned in the hole. He move with sister, then 6 year olds, and they pretend as husband and wife. While sister become great prostitute, Borat get hire by Almaty Municipal Government as official Jews-catcher. His job was grab Jews by horns, and beat. He has also have many sexy-time with his mother-in-law by this time. (Naughty-naughty!)
When he were a 15, Borat get discover by Kazakh media sensation Korki Butchek (who had a very famous song called "Bing Bang"). He was discover by Butchek when Butchek make romance in his sister. So Borat was hire as state-owned TV station's roving reporter and ice-maker. He liked the gay sex not so much.
When he were a 14 year old, Borat kidnaps his first wife Sophia. Soon they were struck by Gypsy attack, where Borat lose wife, two goats, plow, and horse's dignity (it was touched in very bad place).
Borat second wife, daughter of Boltok "The Rapist" Sagdiyev, die in tragic accident in field. She were a big fat and had hair on her back, so hunter mistake her for bear, and shoot. But is OK! Borat get a new wife, now keep her in cage for be safe, and they have a boy, is now a 11, and father of Borat's two grand-childs. Borat's wife make tasty cheese by milk from her tits.
Now Borat and family is well-know all across Kazakhstan, only behind likes of Corky Bucek. His sister has been make Miss Kazakhstan 1994 and voted by Almaty Chamber of Commerce as Number Four Prostitute with Best Sex in Mouth in all of Kazakhstan. He keep one brother, Billo Sagdiev, in room with metal door so he don't do retard rampage (his head small, but his arm BIG), and other brother himself has son with nuclear retardation disease of foot-ball (foot grows from testes-satchel) and hair covered all over body, he get send to travel all around.
Borat say he is number 2 most famous person in whole of Kazakhstan. Number 1 most famous is childrens' animal actor Johnny the Monkey, star of Transibirsky Express and other pornofilm.
Borat is also known for his hit song "Throw the Jew Down the Well," a classic piece of music back in his hometown.It very nice.
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[edit] Borat is currently listed on The Red Potato Publicity Page.
In 2007 Borat had the honour of being listed on the prestigious Red Potatoe Publicity Page. "He's an insperation to all us child rapist who are brought down by the Jew" claims the kusak Prime Minister. Borat was honoured for his humanitarian work by killing more Jews than anyone in Kazakhstan. Now he is planning to break the same record by killing evil Libereal Warlords. Agustabost, Very Nice! I like!
[edit] Kazakhstan National Anthem
(Please stand for anthem) (Stand up now)
Kazakhstan greatest country in the world.
All other countries are run by little girls.
Kazakhstan number one exporter of potassium.
Other countries have inferior potassium.
Kazakhstan home of Tinshein swimming pool.
Its length thirty meter and width six meter.
Filtration system a marvel to behold.
It remove 80 percent of human solid waste.
Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan you very nice place.
From Plains of Tarashek to Northern fence of Jewtown.
Kazakhstan friend of all except Uzbekistan(assholes).
They very nosey people with bone in their brain.
Kazakhstan industry best the world.
We invented toffee and trouser belt.
Kazakhstan’s prostitutes cleanest in the region.
Except of course Turkmenistan’s
Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan you very nice place.
From Plains of Tarashek to Northern fence of Jewtown.
Come grasp the might penis of our leader.
From junction with the testes to tip of its face!
[edit] Moviefilms
- (1 AD) The First Anti-Semite
- (1930) Scooby Jew 2"
- (1931) Frankenjew
- (1936) Gone With the Jews
- (1956) 12 Angry Jews
- (1964) Dr Jew and the Nazis
- (1966) Dr Jew and the Arab invasion of Israel 2150 A.D.
- (1966) Jew: The Hands of Fate
- (1966) The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Jews
- (1968) Planet Of The Jews
- (1971) Johnny got his Jew
- (1971) A Clockwork Jew
- (1972) The Jew Godfather
- (1972) Poltergeist Zealot
- (1974) The Jew Godfather Part II
- (1975) Jaws of the Jews
- (1977) I Slept With My Sister (co-starring George H. W. Bush)
- (1977) Jew Wars
- (1978) The Jew Hunter
- (1979) Kramer vs. Jew
- (1980) Jew Wars: The Jew Empire Strikes Back
- (1982) Onan the Jew Barbarian
- (1983) Jew Wars: Return of the Jewdi
- (1984) Jewbusters
- (1985) Johnny the Monkey and the Insane Zealots
- (1985) St. Elmo's Fire of Jews
- (1986) Transform-Jews: The Jew Movie
- (1986) The Jewish Toxic Avenger (filmed in Chernobyl)
- (1987) Full Metal Jew Jacket
- (1987) Lethal Jewish wepon
- (1987) Dirty Jew!
- (1988) Dirty Jew II
- (1988) Dirty Jew III: Another Jewish Attack
- (1989) The Jews Framed Roger Rabbit
- (1989) Honey, I Shrunk the, Jews!?! (staring Chuck Norris)
- (1989) The Jewish Toxic Avenger 2: Revenge of the Chernobyl Bastard
- (1989) Jewbusters II
- (1990) Run, Dirty Jew!
- (1990) The Jew GodFather III
- (1990) Dances With Jews
- (1991) Jew Terminator
- (1991) #4 Prostitute from Astana
- (1991) Jew Terminator 2: Kusczek Chainsaw Massacre
- (1992) Reservoir Jews
- (1992) Jewrassic Park
- (1992) Honey, I blew up the Jews
- (1993) The Jews of Wrath
- (1993) What a Nice Laughter - Unlike That Jew! (with Walter Moore)
- (1993) Bambi's Mother vs. the Jew Terminator
- (1994) Oh No, There Is A Jew In My Room! (with Mel Gibson)
- (1994) J.E.W.S
- (1995) Schindler's List II: The New Batch
- (1995) Jew Story
- (1995) Who Took This? The Jew!
- (1996) Ali G. Indahouse (with Sacha Baron Cohen - the Jew!)
- (1996) Attack of the Jew Claw!
- (1997) The Jews Made the Titanic Sink
- (1997) Attack of the Jew Rat! (with Mel Gibson)
- (1997) Attack of the Jew Plague! (with Mel Gibson)
- (1998) Joseph Stalin - Memories of Peace!
- (1999) Attack of the Jew Plague! II! (with Mel Gibson)
- (1999) The Greatest Movie Ever (as Captain Jew)
- (1999) Jew Wars: The Phantom Jew
- (2000) Dood, Where Is The Jew? Oh! There It Is, Kill It! (with Ashton Kutcher)
- (2000) Jew Story 2 (includes an animated Onan the Jew Barbarian)
- (2001) Oh, My God, What Have The Jews Done?
- (2001) Jewrek
- (2001) 2001 - A Jew Odeyssey
- (2002) Jew Wars: Attack of the Cloned Jews
- (2002) The Ozone Layer - Attack of the Gypsy
- (2002) Lord of Jewelry: The Jew Towers
- (2003) Finding Jewmo
- (2003) Jews in a Bank Starring Samuel L. Jackson
- (2003) Attack of the Gypsy Tears
- (2003) I Dream Killing A Gypsy!
- {2003) Code Jew
- {2003) Red vs Jew, a popular websites show film in Halos: Combats Evolved for killing Jew
- (2004) Harold & Jewmar Go To White Castle
- (2004) Harry Potter and the Jew Prisoner of Kazakhstan
- (2004) Auschwitz: 60 Jews Later! (with Mel Gibson)
- (2004) Pocahontas 4: Pocahontas Meets the Jews (with Kyle Broflovski, Other Jews, Jew-Free Bush and Pocahontas)
- (2004) Jewrek 2
- (2004) JewSAW
- (2005) Jew Wars: Revenge of the Jew
- (2005) J For Jewdetta
- (2005) 9/11 - Attack Of The Jew! (with Mel Gibson)
- (2005) Let me try de Häagen Dazs (Released on Ice Cream Sunday)
- (2005) American Jew: Concentration Camp
- (2005) JewSAW II
- (2006) Jakob the Jew Liar
- (2006) An Inconvenient Jew
- (2006) Bare-back Jew - The Attack
- (2006) Borat: Cultural Learnings of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
- (2006) JewSAW III
- (2007) I Am Legendary Jew
- (2007) Jew Movie (with Jewry Sienfield)
- (2007) The Last Jewish Unicorn
- (2007) Springtime for Hitler - Attack of the Jew (On DVD June 17th)
- (2007) Harold & Jewmar: Escape 2 Nazi Territory
- (2007) How to Train Dog to Sniff-Out the Jew (short film) (post-production)
- (2007) Jewno
- (2007) There Will Be Jew Blood
- (2007) No Country for Filthy Jews
- (2007) JewSAW IV
- (2008) Jewrek The Third
- (2008) Salomon - Jew Ranger (with Chuck Norris)
- (2008) Jewcok - Frank Sinatra
- (2008) Jew Rider (with David Hasselhoff)
- (2008) The Happening - When The Jews Attack
- (2008) Jews and the City
- (2008) Harold and Kumar KILL THE JEWS
- (2008) JEW. (pronounced Jewbya)
- (2008) The Jew in the Stripped Pajamas
- (2008) 007; Quantum of Jews
- (2008) Two and A Half Jews
- (2008) Freddy and Jason vs Jews
- (2008) 300 Jews
- (2008) Jewman Returns, DAMN!
- (2008) Mr Jew: The movie
- (2008) Fun With Dick And Jew
- (2008) Frost/Jew
- (2008) Wow! You'd Think People Could Be More Creative! These Movie Titles Are Pretty Opposite-of-Funny!
- (2008) The Guy Who Name Last Movie Is Real Pain in the Ass-Hole
- (2008) Borat: An Insight into The Mind of The Anonymous User
- (2008) The Love Jew-ru
- (2008) JewSAW V
- (2009) The Curious Case of BenJewmin ButtonJew
- (2009) Bing-Bong Bing-Bong - The Musical (with Korky Bucek) (in production)
- (2009) Watchjews (post-production)
- (2009) The Jew!
- (2009) Hannah Montana: Second Best Prostitute in All of Kazakhstan
- (2009) JewSAW VI (with Matt Damon) (filming)
- (2010) Harry Potter and the Deadly Jew (with Alfonso Cuarón) (in talks)
- (2011) Incredible Jew Crisis (with Christian Bale)
- (2011) Johnny the Monkey and the Return of the Bat Fuck Insane Zealots
- (2012) Onan the Jew Barbarian II: Frozen Solid in the Future
- (2030) Jews, Brokebacks, and Heathens
- (2036) Redneck Jews
- (2050) Extinction of the Jew! (I's nice.) (featuring Betty Grovenstein, Jewish phone sex specialist)
- (2059) American Pie 64: Foreign Incest.
- (2059) Family Jew (featuring Pea-Tear Griffin as The King Jew McFarlene)
- (2099) JEW 1138.
- (2099) Jishnu the Jew
- (2100) Invasion of the Jews' Odyssey 10,000 BC
[edit] Vidi games
Borat a star in a videogames. It'sa nice! I like!
- (1985 Super Jew Bros'
- (1989) Zero Jews featuring the phrase All your jews are belong to us
- (1994) Warcraft: Jews and Kazakhs
- (2000) The Sims: Jewish Community Centre
- (2001) Turnabout Jews featuring legendary lawyer Phoenix Wright
- (2001) Command & Conquer: Rabbi's Revenge
- (2001) Halos: Combats Evolved for killing Jew
- (2002) Warcraft 3: Reign of Jew
- (2003) Grand Theft Auto: Jewtown Blowout Stories
- (2005) The Jews End With You
- (2005) Final Jew Fantasy
- (2006) Final Jew Fantasy II
- (2006) Metal Jew Solid
- (2006) Metal Jew Solid 2: Jews of Inebrity
- (2006) Metal Jew Solid 3: Jew Runner
- (2006) Metal Jew Solid 4: Mosques of the Patrio-Jews
- (2007) Doom 4 Addon - Jewtown'
- (2008) Jew Rider: The Game
- (2008) Grand Theft Auto: Borat vs Bush
- (2009) Call of Jewty
- (2009) JewSAW: The Video Game
- (2009) Jewtar Hero
- (2014) Call of jewty 7- Jew Warfare
- (2029) Slient Jews 4 "Finally!"
- (2099) Borat Center: Under the Jew
- (2099) Borat Center: Borat's Opinion of Sexy Time
- (2099) Borat Center: New Tit Cheese
- (2099) Doki Doki Majo Boratuu translated as Borat feels up witch girls
- (2099) Jew May Cry
- (2099) Grand Theft Auto: Kazakhstan
- (2100) Borat Center: Under the Jew 2 (featuring Derek's Piles and Angry Thompson)
- (2101) Boratvania (featuring Borat as Jewlius Belmont, and Lumelle as Mina Fuckuba)
- (2102) Boratvania - Adventures in the Bastion of the Jew (featuring Sora, Donald, and Vincerine Kairi)
- (2102) No More Jews
- (2103) No More Jews: Desperate Struggle to Infiltrate Jewish Place of Worship
- (2112) Armageddon: Jew World Order.
- (2114) Reality Show: Jew and the 9 Kazakh
- (2117) Borat 007: Quanto is Jewish
- (6969) Final Jew Fantasy 32474546247432863764832964239632062362363637634874375643463
[edit] Documentaries
- (2002) Borat on the apple jews farm
- (2003) Borat on the orange jews farm
- (2004) Borat and the jewing gum factory
- (2005) Borat and the jewellery industry
- (2006) Borat Undercover In Rogue States - Episode 1: Israel
- (2007) Borat Undercover in Rogue States - Episode 2: US and A
- (2008) Borat Undercover in Rogue States - Episode 3: Liechtenstein
- (2009) Borat Undercover in Rogue States - Episode 4: the U.N.
[edit] Personality & Interests
- Dyisco Dyance
- Archery
- Rape
- Ping Pong
- Sunbathe
- Daria kraut
- Shoot Dog
- And on weekends he travel to Capital City and watch a ladies while they make a toilet.
- He enjoys reciting the Kazakhstan National Anthem to Americans! (http://ibarelydidhalfofthislol.ytmnd.com).
- Borat likes to have a "sexy time" (he had a sexy time with his mother-in-law)
- He like the shaved vazyin (not the bush) as long as it not droop like sleeve of wizard.
- Borat has only loved once, being with pet pig Igor who made more a delicious meal than a faithful pet.
- Borat is interest in make film "Passion of christ 2: Make my day Jews" starring his great friend Melvin Gibsons.
- Borat have been designing in his country, revolutionary car which changes Kazakhstan economy. Because in his country there is problem, and that problem is transport (and Jew), it take very long time.
- Instead of throwing transport down the well, Borat has hired by doubles as plow and house for gypsies. This car not surprising is called Volkswagen Borat.
- He has also remarked that his 'khram' is like 'can of Pepsi!' and that his son is 20cm.
- He also like the ass of a 7-year-old.
- He now like Britney Spear's bald vazyin
- He make sexy time with his sister Natalya (is no joke).
- He loves Jews and is sorry for resembling that fuckhead Sacha Baron Cohen (who is a Jew...go figure)…
