Bradford Riots

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The Bradford Riots were a short but intense period of rioting which took place on July 7, 2001, in Bradford, India. It was brought about as a result of tension caused by poor political desicions and cultural misunderstandings. Similar race riots had occurred a few days earlier in the Commonwealth Games during the hotly disputed 100m and 400m sprints.

  1. Several posters of Tony Blair causing butt-hurt to the Prophet Mohammed being placed in various locations in Bradford (mainly outside mosques) and...
  2. The Bradfordstanis inability to take a joke.

Underlying tension[edit]

Denzil, off of Only Fools and Horses

Early in 2000, Bradford council chose the famous ex-cricketer, anti-Putin spokesman and ex-husband of Jemima Puddleduck as Lord Mayor. In turn, Khan realised that the city needed a spokesman who was a recognisable icon from the previous decades of racial harmony. Unfortunately due to his limited understanding of Northern culture, Denzil from Only Fools and Horses was elected to mixed reaction.

Six months later, Khan was growing tired of the lack of excitement that his new posistion afforded him and began to plot the downfall of his adopted city.


Imran 'Khan Noonien Singh' Khan.

The tensions rose after Denzil and Dr Anthony Truman from Eastenders attempted to organise a march in the city. This was banned by Bradford Council (which was now merely Khan’s puppet). The local association of Families Against Racial Tension (F.A.R.T), organised a counter march which was allowed to proceed. During the course of the march Khan’s men circulated a rumour that Federation sympathisers were gathering at Quark’s bar in the center of Bradford.

A confrontation then occurred outside the engineering quarter in the city centre during which Mickey from Only Fools and Horses was fatally stabbed. According to the appeal court this incident almost certainly triggered the riot.


Denzil managed to lure Khan into the nearby Mutara Nebula road area of the city, where he subsequently outmaneuvers him by taking advantage of all three lanes of traffic. With his Robin Reliant disabled and about to be boarded, Khan sets the Genesis Device to detonate. Denzil’s band of followers failed to notice Dr Anthony Truman. He is about to enter the Balti House room when Denzil stops him, saying "No human can tolerate the chilli that's in there!" Truman replies that as Denzil himself frequently points out, he isn't human; he then distracts Denzil and shivs him, apologizing that he has "no time to discuss this guv’nor". On the road bridge, a lone F.A.R.T member monitoring the Balti House announces that the main cookers have come back online. With seconds to spare, Denzil orders the cookers to be pre-heated, and everyone, including Khan, enjoy a lovely ethnic banquet.


In 1982 Paramount Studios and Channel 4 produced a fictional drama based upon Khan’s return to Bradford and the subsequent damage caused by his wrath.