Bra

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“The Bra can be very good for jowls.”

~ Richard M. Nixon on the bra, just before the Nipplegate scandal

“Aka: Double barrel slingshot.”

~ Unknown Technical Engineer

“Pervs!”

~ Jimmy Beam on Baby Got Back

“In Soviet Russia, bra wears YOU!!!”

The brassiere is a piece of (really pointless) titwear. Its main purpose is to increase the duration of intercourse but can be totaly by-passed by concetration on other areas of the female anatomy. It was and still is commonly used as a type of fuel by feminists. The brassiere is known to be pointless as women really didn't wear them in ancient Greece, especially in ancient Greece. Showing off naked tits was deemed immoral by the pope a long time ago, because he made money mostly off off selling women's clothing, and he really needed some extra cash. However, today, the brassiere is considered to simply be a formality, and also a kind of protection against That rapist currently looking at your sister's tits using a pair of binoculars. Ugliness works against that guy, too, but I personally don't find ugly people enjoyable, especially when they're in my field of view.

The Bra[edit]

bras are the french word for arms.

As you can see, the steel girder along the base supports the weight of the second and third floors of the building.

The Bra is a mechanical device constructed of copper, steel and stretched leather. It is used to hold in saggy body parts, commonly, Boobs. The Bra is traditionally worn over an undershirt of a contrasting color. The Bra, a.k.a. Boulder Holders, was invented in 1736 by John Bra. Before this time, women had to settle for a primitive, less comfortable supporting device invented by florist Timothy Titclamp.

Etymology[edit]

Contrary to popular belief, the most commonly accepted hypothesis among bra scholars about the derivation of the word is not after John Bra, but from the shocked and hurt noise that men often made when the garment was popularized.a bra is called a bra because it helps you.thats why.




                              the end 



                             chelsea martin

In Fashion[edit]

At the turn of the century, women began wearing their Bras under other clothing. This was later proven to do significant damage to the ribcage and decrease breast size. Men who wear bras, called Germans, will often experience chemical imbalances in their bodies causing them to turn into Rosie O'Donnell.

Man-Proofing[edit]

Upon the introduction of the bra, men were frustrated at the way it interferes with access to boobs and so invented various tools to get through to the juicy prizes beneath, examples include wine, massage oil and flowers. Women appeared to like such tools and so many obliged to remove their bras once subdued by one or a combination, however the clever females decided to step up the man-proofing and added a clasp.

In Construction[edit]

The over-the-shoulder boulder holder has been used in building foundations since the early 18th century. There is a steel base and several protruding beams which connect to the top (called the "cups") which have to two points in the middle, called "nipples." In cold weather, the metal may contract, creating the illusion of larger breasts. That is why women wear cleavage-bearing tops, and adore air conditioning. OOOOOHHH YEA BOOOOBIES ARE CUMMY IN MY TUMMY!!!!

Egypt[edit]

The Bra was secondly used by the Egyptions during the Construction of the Sphinx.

Jacques Cousteau[edit]

A modified version of the Bra which contained an underwater breathing apparatus was created by Jacques Cousteau in the mid 1940's. He sold the initial design to Victoria Secret, of Victoria's Secret. It is currently used in bukkake films.

Swedish frustrations[edit]

The word Bra literally means gets-in-the-way in Swedish. This caused the rumour of Sweden as being a very sexual liberated country, since swedish youth all through the hippie era kept speaking with their anglosaxian friends about the importance of bra vibrations without recognizing the error in translation.

Biblical Reference[edit]

A modified version of the Bra was used by David to defeat Goliath. An unpublished version has David mortally wounding Goliath with "stones of frustration".

Aquatic Wear[edit]

It is also possible that the Bra can be used as a floation device with minor adjustments, these Bra are called water bras and seem to be definitely making their presence in water-based cultures such as Atlantis and Australia.

The Future[edit]

By the year 2065AD bra design is likely to have reached such an advanced level of development that nuclear fusion fuelled rocket boosters will be activated on request to transport the wearer 15 feet in to the air. Scientists envisage a world in which wearers have access to '3Stage Travel'.

  1. Simply boost skywards
  2. Attach to cable
  3. And 'sling shot' to desired location anywhere on the planet [except Milton Keynes] using a complicated network of cables, junctions and ejection points.

Hard-to get[edit]

Bra often has associations with sexual frustrations, especially to males of aged 15-19, whos sexual desires to get hard on a female will often begin with the bra. Whilst 2 specimens are making out or touching, they will try and often untangle the bra to get a feel of the boobs, to further arouse the male, this is one of the barriers to humankind and must be terminated! Research shows that 999999% of males want females to be braless so females, get your bras out and burn them!

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