Bretagne

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Where the heck it is, in case you didn't know, which you probably didn't.
More detailed, but in French.

Bretagne, also known as Brittany, also known as - though much less frequently called, and in the language spoken by a quarter of the region’s population - Breizh, is located on the northwestern-most part of France, adjacent to Basse-Normandie and Pays-de-la-Loirre. It is divided into four sections, called departments. These departments are Finistere, Cotes-d'Armor, Ille-et-Vilaine, and Morbihan. There was a fifth department, Loire-Atlantique which was invaded by Pays-de-la-Loire in the 1940s. Most Breton people want it back, but the French government won't let them have it. The capital of Bretagne/Brittany/Breiz is Rennes. Cotes-d’Armor is named for the Breton (The aforementioned language that a quarter of the region’s population speaks, being a Celtic language similar to Welsh, Cornish, and Sindarin Elvish) word for “country of the sea”. The word is so painfully obvious, that after needlessly looking through several thick, dusty, bad-selling Breton-English dictionaries that were bad-selling because the only people interested in Breton are social studies buffs and the people who live in Bretagne, who, being French, would sooner speak French than English, you might just want to hang, drain, and quarter yourself when you discover that it is Armor. Some of the population also speaks Gallo, but those people aren’t true Bretons and shouldn’t exist.



Landscape[edit]

The Argoat. Plus petit que tu pense, n'est pas? Smaller than you thought, isn't it?

Much of the interior of the land occupied by the two million, eight hundred fifteen thousand and nine hundred people living in Bretagne is also occupied by a plateau called Argoat. It doesn’t actually mean “our goat”, and after something having to do with another Breton-English dictionary happens to you, you’ll find that the true meaning really doesn’t have anything to do with a goat at all (or with any member of the kingdom animalia, for that matter), and in reality means “country of the woods”. The plateau has a maximum height of roughly 245 meters (800 feet), with two exceptions, being woodland ridges.





Culture[edit]

Those Bretons love their dead marine animals!

Bretagne serves as a gateway between England and France, being within a casual walking distance of just under 95 miles away from the land of fish and chips. On that note, the people of Bretagne have a slightly different idea of good food. Instead of the previously ridiculed fish and chips, and in place of tea and crumpets, the people of Bretagne drink cider, mead, “apple eau de vie”, whiskey, and beers. They eat gallettes, the French clichéd crepes, and dead marine animals including mussels and oysters. The Bretons are influenced heavily by the heady and often severely intoxicating aromas of the Atlantic Ocean.



Climate & Religion?[edit]

A typical Breton cathedral, sitting next to the home of the most wealthy of Bretons.

Bretagne has a warm climate, and being in such close proximity to the U.K., experiences rain regularly, as fans of what the rest of the world calls football scare away the gloomy weather with their crazed antics. Bretagne was captured, sorry, “incorporated into France” in 1532, and has since remained predominantly Catholic.