Brian Vickers

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“Blian Vickles is my heelo”

~ Chinese ricer dude on Brian Vickers

Contents 1 Background info 2 Racing with Jeff Gordon 3 Red Bull 4 Car 5 Personal life

[edit] Background info

Bruce-Brian Lee Vickers (born in 1983 in Tokyo, Japan) is the son of Billy Ray Cyrus and a hot Asian pornstar. He is a dumb redneck ricer punk who drives a NASCAR car made of Red Bull cans and fucks his sister. He used to race for Jeff Gordon's race team but left to join Team Red Bull for the free red bull, and the fact that the Red Bull car is a Japanese Toyota Camry with a giant Red Bull sticker and a huge spoiler.

[edit] Racing with Jeff Gordon

Before he turned into a ricer asshole, he raced in the minor leagues for Hendrick Motorsports and was the youngest champion ever. He moved up to the majors and sucked his first 2 years. Then he wrecked Dale Jr. to win a race and changed his name to Brian Wreckers.

[edit] Red Bull

When Team Red Bull wanted somebody semi-OK for their new NASCAR team, they chose Brian Vickers to drive theit little load of Jap Crap with a giant spoiler in exchange for a lifetime supply of Red Bull. He failed to qualify for 10 races and only finished in the top 5 once. That means he sucks worse than a Hoover. With one signature on a contract sheet, he went from superstar teammate to Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson to become a punkass ricer just for some free Red Bull. After he won the London 500 Exhibition Race in England, he was booed, beaten and recieved death threats because he is a chav to the British. He would be one here in America too, if they had chavs.

[edit] Car

Vickers's race car is a Camry made of Red Bullshit cans. It also runs on Red Bull, so he is the most environmentally-conscious driver because the car burns no fossil fuel. That makes him Weird Al Gore's favorite driver. If you look on the left quarter panel on his Toyota the car, you will see a VTec sticker on it. His car also has the highest spoiler, most stickers, the loudest and widest exhaust, and is the only car on the track with neon lights and 14 inch spinners.

[edit] Personal life

Brian enjoys going to NAPA and Hot Import Nights to buy useless parts for his rice rocket. Being the son of Billy Ray Cyrus, he is a redneck. He does the things (stereo)typical rednecks do, like huntin', fishin', chewin' tobacco, and screwin' his mom. Since he is a 24 year old redneck, he is still in seventh grade. His favorite baseball team is the New Hampshire Niggers and he would rather watch golf instead of porn. Did I mention that he was in rehab for drinking too much Red Bull? That is where him and Lindsay Lohan made a half-cracker half-chink baby.