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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to Bride.

A bride is a woman who has already put out and completely whipped a man and needs a public show so that people think the whole idea was consensual.

Of course it's not consensual, as there's no way she'll put out again until she gets that ring.

Things to look for in a bride:

  • Doesn't want a big wedding ring.
  • Doesn't want a big wedding.
  • Wants to get married in the local bar.
  • Adventuresome in bed.
  • Not related to you.
  • Older than 13.
  • Possesses a dowry.
  • Has all of her teef.

See also[edit]