Broomfield
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[edit] The essence of life
After a while it became apparent that there was more to life than sleeping with your relatives. Though it has been reported in modern history that this practice is still part of the lives of many a person living in Essex. However man needed to have a past time and the ingenious man of Broomfield soon mixed the water of River Chelmer with hops and barley to create real Ale. Ale is only truly brewed in Essex. The Ales of London are inferior as they do not contain life's essence. Only the River Chelmer can provide the true taste of ale.
[edit] Ancient Religions left over from invasion
This god like figure was from the invasion incurred by the people of Belgium. In ancient history Belgium was thought to be the birth place of strong intoxicating beers which could over power the people of Broomfield. However it soon turned out that once they had tasted the purity of the waters of the River Chelmer they submitted to their inferiority and formed alliances with the people of America. Now it is well known that Belgium is the birthplace of the American Chamber of Commerce which is a very fancy name to disguise that it is just a franchise of McDonald's. The American Chamber of Commerce sole aim is to invade every high street with over weight people of no visible intelligence.
Even though the Belgium's did not stay long the people of Broomfield appreciated the strong brews and from that time have always purchased copious amounts of the liquor as its effects make it possible to take home some of the more unsavoury females that have been left behind from the inbreeding that took place in past ages. It it thought as incredible bad manners to leave any women on the dance floor at the end of the night. In local circles it is called 'sweeping' or 'taking home the bacon'.
[edit] Art and Barbecues
This ancient piece of art was found in one of the large gravel pits that surround Broomfield. It is mistakenly thought that during an Ice Age much of the rock and fossils found in the gravel pits was in fact pushed by great sheets of ice. However this is a false assumption. The people of Broomfield like nothing more on a hot sunny day than to have big barbecues.
The tradition of the barbecue came from the religious festival to thank the gods for a good harvest. Everyone in the village would go to one of the five sacred gravel pits and cram as much food inside themselves as possible. They would drink ale and tell tall stories about adventures that never happened. The most famous being of a large octopus that arrived by air that could feed the whole population for a thousand years. It is believed that the Japanese invented たこやき(Tako Yaki) but this is plainly untrue and the people of Broomfield have been consuming these hot balls of fun since records have begun.
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