Brother Bear

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Basic bashing of one of Disney's current lame films, simplified the story beyond all simpleness.


Brother Bear

The film's release poster
Directed by Bear
Produced by Bear
Written by Bear
Starring Bear, Bear, and Bear
Release date(s) Bear Bearth, Bearbosandandbear
Running time 89 minutes in Bear Years
Language Bear
Budget $5 Bearbosand
Followed by The Country Bears


Brother Bear was the lamest movie ever. Many times during the movie I lost the meaning because bears don't talk and it does not relate at all to the Indians of the southwest coast. Many times I even thought of taking myself out of the theatre. Hehe. Funny stuff. Lol. Read on for more if you like this kind of humor. Or if not, the door's that way.

Plot

The storyline is so freaking simple that it goes exactly like this:

Man kills bear. Man becomes bear. Man/bear meets bear. Man/bear stays man/bear after meeting bear. The End. Seriously, that is the entire plot to this movie. No, I DID NOT simplify that AT ALL, it was ALREADY simplified! Alright! I admit it! It WAS simplified! BUT, this IS the basic outline of the movie.

The main characters are called, Bear, and Bear. All right, the small one that the man/bear meets is called, Beary Bearington. OK, he's really called called Koda. The man/bear guy is called Kenai, or in the Chinese version, Kenny. No, I'm serious. Read Chinese Wikipedia if you wish.

The most pathetic part about the movie is what a pile of Liberal Rhetoric it is. I mean seriously, throughout the entire movie we are made to think that humans are evil, vial monsters that hunt and kill poor and defenseless bear that hurt no one. We are made to think that bear are these cute, lovable and loving animals that just want to be left alone. Yet towards the end of the film we are shown many shots of bears HUNTING, KILLING and EATING Salmon! According to this movie it's totally alright for bears to hunt, kill and eat Salmon but it is NOT okay for humans to do the same thing to bears. Why didn't the film makers show bears eating and ripping apart Rutt and Tuke? I've seen bears eat deer and moose. Why is it okay for these bears to toss around a salmon which they've ripped in half and use it as a talking piece?

What a bunch of Liberal crap! This movie should be banned! This movie should be held in the same regard and other types of liberal BS such as Fahrenheit 9/11 and Bowling for Columbine!

This was also Yogi Bear's first shot at stardom, where he played the caring brother Sitka. He went into shock while on film due to the lack of stealing of pic-a-nic baskets. After 4 hours of being unconcious, Yogi walks off set. The original storyline of the movie had to be changed to compinsate for this.

Sequel

Following the success of this awesome film, Di$ney later made the movie The Country Bears, which follows a band of 50 year old singing bears who kidnap, torture, and molest a 12 year old bear, named Beary Bearington.