“Nice to penetrate you, to penetrate you, nice”
“Isn't he dead yet?”
Bruce Forsyth or to give his full name Bruce Forskin was believed to have been millions of years old but it turns out he was born in 1928 BC, making him slightly younger than Terry Wogan. You might have seen him on the telly. In fact, if you're a British subject and you've cared to glance at Sir John Logie Baird's fabulous invention any Saturday night in the last 50 years, you've almost certainly seen him wearing a tuxedo, a toupee and a smile. Despite being lauded as a TV professional, he simply does presenting work to fund his addiction to rich and expensive gravys and supermodels. He came upon the idea of The Price Is Right during a midnight walk on Hampstead heath by accident wishing to invent a new method of sieving. It didn’t work. He grants you three wishes if you stroke his chin and chant "nice to see you to see you nice!" sixteen times. He is married to a former Mr World.
“Piss off and mind your own!”
Bruce currently resides in one of the many derelict warehouses off the coast of Wolverhampton. He has been married to a string of beautiful woman, and if we are honest, we are all pretty jealous of the bastard.