Bubble wrap
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“In Soviet Russia, bubble wraps YOU!!'”
Bubble wrap is a highly addictive narcotic popular amongs low-income youths. Those who use bubble wrap are known as "poppers" or "bubble-heads". The addictive power of popping each bubble will often cause bubble heads to break out in a cold sweat when there are no more to pop, and will crawl into the window of a dealer's home to get their next fix.
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[edit] Origins
Bubble wrap is processed from dead dancers and celebrities. First the body is frozen and then skin is chipped away. Next the plastic is harvested from the breasts, nose, cheek, forehead, jaw, and buttox. After the plastic is harvested it is melted down in sweatshops in Mexico then flown into the U.S. usually containing cocaine as a diversion. This highly illegal substance was first modded into bubble forms by a splinter group of Quakers who believed God was an aqueious bubble. The trend has caught on around the world, but not used in praise, but in packaging.
[edit] Treatment
There is no known cure for bubble popping. Once a person has popped a single bubble, they can not be stopped from popping the rest (See also: Pringles). Poppers who have their bubble wrap taken away prematurely often experience high levels of nausea, severe headace, and respiratory ailments. There are some centers for recovering poppers. They can also become a member of BPA (Bubble Poppers Anonymous)
[edit] The Theory of Bubble Wrap and Peanuts
Developed by the great physicist Hanz McPops, if a package contains both packing peanuts bubble rap, then it is physically IMPOSSIBLE to destroy said package or its contents.
[edit] Sounds it makes
POP! POP! or SNAP! CRACKLE! POP! (Rice Krispies)
