Pornstar Barbie
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THIS ARTICLE A SPLODE.
Contents |
[edit] History
Usually mistaken with the Paris Hilton Barbie, Pornstar Barbie is in fact an improved version of the Pamela Anderson Barbie. Porn Star Barbie was influenced strongly by the Second Base Barbie of the 1950s, where she was marketed as the first Barbie to wear a skirt with a hemline abover her knees. She later influenced 1970s Free Love Barbie, who was discontinued because she came with a blunt and syringe included.
[edit] Personal Life
Sexually abused by her father in high school, she became promiscuous, and it showed sharply on her marks. An affair with her Math teacher helped her pass.
Pornstar Barbie went to an Ivyleague college, but she flunked out (not before making various home movies with the girls in her sorority).
While the original Barbie lives a rich and fulfilling life in her Malibu beach house with Ken, Pornstar Barbie lives in a trailor in Alabama. She enjoys Spam, cheese whiz, pepsi, cock, and Marlboro (menthol) cigarettes. She spends her days watching Maury, and her nights hitting the clubs with her ladies.
[edit] People Pornstar Barbie has slept with
- Seto Kaiba
- Pikachu
- Ronald Reagon
- Goku
- Lupin the 3rd
- Paris Hilton
- Your Mom
- Your Friend's Mom
- You
- Action Man
- Bob the Builder
- Hillary Clinton
- Ms.Cartman
- Austin Powers
- Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck (It was a threesome)
- Johnny Bravo
- Andy Worhol
- Adolf Hitler
- Emo Hitler
- Jesus
- Rock Hudson
- Sexual Harrassment Panda
- Kenny McCormick
- Oscar Wilde
- Peter North
- Freddy Krueger
- Jenna Jameson
- Tommy Lee
- Michael Jackson
- Chucky the doll
- Nicole Richie
- Adam Sandler
- The Dixie Chicks (It was a foursome.)
- Brian Peppers
- Ken
- Tommy
- Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt (It was a threesome.)
- Anna Nicole Smith
- Daniel Smith
- Osama Bin Laden
- Kurt Cobain
- Gerard Way and his less important brother
- the Bratz dolls
- Furby
- Beanie Babies
- Harry Potter
- JFK
- Marilyn Monroe
- Marilyn Manson
- Charles Manson
- Chuck Norris
- various asian chicks
- various black guys
- Little Moe with the gimpy leg
- Mr.T
[edit] So What the Hell Happened to Ken?
There have been many rumors about what happened to Ken. One rumor is that he moved to South Park and lives under the name Kenny McCormick. Another is that he started the band Ken and the Horny Men with Sephiroth as lead bass and Goku on drums. The third one is that he committed suicide. Which ever one is true may never be revealed.
