Bukkake Wars

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Bukkake Wars
Civillians flee from Hen Tai the bottomless well
Conflict: Bukkake Wars
Date: 1469 - 1669
Place: Japan, duh.
Outcome: Sticky end to the Fuksiko Clan.
Combatants
Titfuki ClanStarsBars.GIF Fuksiko Clan CSA FLAG.gif
Commanders
Hen Tai
Hugh Heffner
Hitler
Ookii JinJin
Peter NorthWhite flag icon.jpg
Optimus Prime
Strength
40,000 Samurai
9 Tentacle Monsters
23,000 Schoolgirls
56,000.8 Samurai
23 Shemales
28,000 Schoolgirls
Casualties
KIA: 1
Total dead: Unknown
Wounded: 13374
KIA: 0
Total dead: unknown
Wounded: 41213  


Bukkake Wars was a time of social upheaval, political intrigue, and nearly constant military conflict in Japan that lasted roughly from the middle 15th to the early 17th century. Almost nothing is currently known about the Bukkake Wars, and we're all probably better off for it. In 1862 the Meiji government was courted by foreign powers and, realizing the national embarrassment that could be caused if the truth became known, outlawed teaching this period of history and expunged it from all records. Despite this, modern historians have managed to piece together the following facts:

  • The Bukkake Wars were fought using a unique form of combat that eschewed the use of weapons.
  • Despite this protection, by the war's end 84% of the samurai caste had been rendered blind.
  • Some famous samurai believed to have fought in this war were Hen Tai of the bottomless well and the legendary Ookii JinJin the raging waterfall.

The above facts lead to a conclusion so graphic, hideous and disturbing that any further research would be way, way, more than we wanted to know.

New Info[edit]

New info has been found about the Bukkake Wars:

  • The women were mercilessly raped until they sided with one side or the other.
  • All women who faught in the war were chained up, and only used kitchen knives.
  • Everyone was running around naked as to avoid the laundry costs