Bulimia

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“Twice the Taste, Zero the Calories!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Bulimia

“What goes down must come up!”

~ Newton on Bulimia
socially bulimic.

Bulimia is the the less popular younger sister of Anorexia. As in, the captain of the high school cheerleading squad is Anorexic, the star runner of the girl's track team is Anorexic, God, why can't you be more like your sister, Anorexic? Call bulimia the Jan Brady of eating disorders, if you will (where Anorexia is the Marcia, EDNOS is the Cindy, and binge eating is, naturally, Alice).


Symptoms[edit]

  • low self-control
  • avoiding mirrors
  • exercising to the point of cardiac arrest
  • giving lots of hugs to toilets
  • thinking Stanley Riley (The ex CIA agent now anorexic super model) is hot
  • watching the Brady Bunch
  • rocking in the corner of a bedroom, crying softly (but just loud enough for that god-damned older sister to hear)
  • occasional vomiting
  • thoughts of suicide when you see food

Recovery[edit]

The best way to cure a friend of bulimia is by encouraging Anorexia, the better and more popular eating disorder. This is the method chosen by starlets across Hollywood. However, if they are too much of a weak-willed fatass who is less liked by their parents, it is recommended to just simply not be friends with them at all.

Self cure is nearly impossible, as the bulimia itself is brought on by you, or the family member who sexually abused you. Another option is switching over to cutting yourself like an emo; this way, you are still severely damaging your body, without looking bad in the process.

See Also[edit]