Bumhug

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A bumhug is a spoonerism of humbug. Hence, it is the polar opposite of Humbug. Rather than being a tool used by the haters of Christmas, bumhugs are signs of generosity in the season.

Definition[edit]

A bumhug is not a sexual act, though it is often taken from an awkward position, it is not to be confused with a humbug. It is the practice, usually conducted in large cities, of being nice to hobos, in this scenario referred to as bums. Some practitioners take the phrase literally and give smelly, unclean bums hugs to make them feel warm, cosy, comfortable and loved. However, most will give the hobos shelter, food, and sometimes a bit of cash, all supposedly in the name of Christmas. The nourishment given to them is enough to last them for another year, when the same thing happens again.

Controversy[edit]

The normal form of bumhug (giving shelter, food and the like) will usually cost the bumhugger a fair amount of money. Some bumhuggers are in fact so enthusiastic that they will give several hobos shelter over the Christmas period. It is therefore not surprising to learn that after the Yuletide season the number of hobos actually increases. Also worthy of note is the fact that many of the bumhugged have, as a result of being too extravagant at Christmas, lost their enthusiasm for the time of year. It is a well-known fact that hobos are often on drugs, such as humbugs.

It is not uncommon for a bumhugger to be attacked by several bumhugged and eaten. Considering the fat, jolly, rich types who tend to be bumhuggers, it must seem to the hobos as if they would have more food, fat and meat if they killed the bumhugger than if they waited to be given food. As well as the number of hobos increasing, the number of deaths also increases (and you thought it was because of people being unable to cook turkeys).

Also many people like to lick bumhugger's faces after they have hugged a bum ( hobo ) this is also a sign of generosity.