Bunclody
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Bunclody is a small boring little town on the Wexford-Carlow border, in Ireland. The native population, as of the 2006 census, was 17. This is a questionable population size as it is well known that there are 700 pupils in the FCJ (Fat Curious Jesuits) secondary school and a few more in the other school (The Tech).
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[edit] History
Bunclody was founded in the year 1BC, by the Australian Empire. At this time, the Australians ruled the entire world, except the formidable Co. Cavan. Bunclody was intended to be the capital for the empire, but this plan was scrapped when the village was overrun by a 50 million strong herd of sheep that descended for Sunday Mass from Mt. Leinster, the local mountain. The resulting massacre by the communion-deprived ewes and rams is still commemorated every year on March 16th. Bunclodians are nonetheless grateful to the Australians for building their roads and the prehistoric discotheque, which to this day has cave paintings visible on the urine soaked walls.
[edit] Chav Infestation
The local yobs have taken over the street corners in recent years, leaving people over the age of 22 afraid to go out their front doors for fear of being assaulted by a barrage of sports labels and "quare cool" runners. To combat this epidemic, the local politician, Senator Paddy being his official title has issued a curfew to anyone 20 or under. When this comes into effect from 2128, these chaps and lassies will be forced to remain indoors from 6pm to 7.30 am. This bill will be somewhat difficult to enforce as the locality's only law enforcement officer is 19, and will therefore be forced to stay home with his mammy.
[edit] Cultural Landmarks
There are, at last count, 200 pubs and off-licences in the town. These establishments are thriving due to the large immigrant community that have settled on this town. Polski Skleps are also springing up everywhere as demand for strange "vegetables" are very popular with the young people these days.
Bunclody is also well known for another reason. It is the birthplace of the legendary ghost-buster and all round healer dude, eh Benjamin Mahoney
It has become quiet a holiday destination in recent years, largely due to the scenic, unspoilt nature of the town. This quaint feel has thus been destroyed by the recent influx of the aforementioned tourists, leaving the town's only hotel in financial ruin.
[edit] Power Source
Bunclody was also very kindly treated to a fire-station in 2005. This very clever move was played after half the town had been burned down, because some guy forgot to put out his candle. Candles have been the sole source of light in Bunclody since 1798 when the locals decided to revolt against the power company (The English). They have since been left in the dark. Power is however expected soon as some local farmers have formed a conglomerate and building has begun on the county's first fusion power plant. This has caused quite a bit of controversy as they have decided to place it on top of a big hill, so they can show how cool they are compared to their carlow neighbours, who have to make do with fission.
[edit] Olympic Bid
In a massive coup for such a small town with no facilities, it comes as an honour to be hosting the Olympics in 2016. It is expected to generate some €45 as well as welcomed publicity. Despite some dissent among the locals that the town cannot cope with an airport, construction began in 2007. This 4 000 000 sq ft. structure will be able to cope with 3000 planes and 42 IFOs (Identified Flying Objects} a day.
