Butter Troll

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“I am suddenly feeling great about my appearance! ”

~ Shreck on Butter Trolls

A Butter Troll is an unfortunate subspecies of Goth. They are victims of the belief that black clothes are so slimming that if they squeeze into a black circus tent it will hide their greasy folds. Some larger Butter Trolls have been known to wear an entire Hot Topic Store by inserting there flabby arms through the entrance and exit.

They often be identified by the crudely drawn eyeliner spider webs on the side of their face.They are often mistaken for the Hindenburg or other dirigible aircraft, their appearance may surprise you, Evert your eyes though... they can swallow your soul.

Contents 1 History 2 Butter Trolls today 3 How to spot a Butter Troll 4 The search for The Cure 5 Butter trolls in the future

[edit] History

The history of the Butter Troll dates back to the Original Gothic period 300-400 BC. It is said that after the beheading of Grendel's mother in the much famed tale of Beowulf One of the hero's compatriots decided to "give her a go" and from her decapitated rotting body was spawned the first butter troll.

Unlike the true Gothic people, Lean attractive types with pale skin and a taste for fine art. The Butter Trolls would simply wander amongst normal folks in the local tavern, waiting for them to get drunk enough to be mistaken for a bean bag chair.

[edit] Butter Trolls today

Butter trolls can be found just about anywhere today, Blocking the entrance to the Hot Topic, Stinking up the line at whatever flash-in-the-pan Nu-Metal, Industrial, Grind core band is playing. In the dankest corner of a club during the "Goth" Night or whatever you and your little buddies call it. But Mostly they can be found sitting in front of their computer with semen and Cheetos's stains down the front of their shirt reading and editing uncyclopedia entries.

[edit] How to spot a Butter Troll

• The common butter troll can often be identified by their expression, decribed by Buttertrologists as looking 'like a dropped mince pie.'
• If you see two large plether spheres, these may not be exercise balls but actually the female of the species.
• faded slipknot Tattoos badly in need of a touch up.
• Faded Black Band T-shirts, or perhaps just two wall flags sewn together like some kind of Mu mu.
• a trail of ectoplasmic ooze, possibly hair Gel.
• The smell of Marijuana, stale Cheetos and failure.
• enumerable piercings.
• sweat has the consistency and texture of movie popcorn butter.

[edit] The search for The Cure

The cure can't be found in any Butter Trolls CD collection, that's something a real goth would own.

[edit] Butter trolls in the future

In the future butter trolls May spend most of their time indoors, only to be lured out with the promise of delicious crispy creme. Otherwise they will gain sustenance though An IV drip out of a liposuction waste bag. This is what they will call a "happy Meal".