Buttfucking
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“Buttfucking is the shiznat!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Buttfucking
Are you ready for buttfucking ?
Buttfucking is a dangerous sport where people try to have sexual intercourse with cigarette or cigar butts.
The risks are inherent to this practice given the fact that the penis is one of the most flammable substances found in nature. By buttfucking you risk spontaneous combustion or even the detonation of the bladder.
Each year approximately two dozen people worldwide become human torches after buttfucking without having taken adequate safety precautions. Current treatment for a flaming member due to buttfucking is haphazard at best, and includes full immersion in a bucket of wet sea otters, followed by amputation.
The safest way to avoid cigarette burns while buttfucking is to put a condom on the cigarette. You will be probably burning rubber, but at least your penis won't implode into the urethra.
Vaseline is advised for buttfucking, but it attacks rubber and is almost as flammable as the hairs of the buttocks.
Try buttfucking at home. Favourite past time of Oscar Wilde.
