Calendar of Saints
The calendar of saints is a traditional method of organising a year on the level of days by associating each day with a saint, and referring to the day as the saint's day of that saint. This calendar system, when combined with major festivals and movable and immovable feasts, constructs a very human and personalised yet often localised way of organising the year and identifying dates.
Medievalists continue the old tradition of dating by saints' days: their works may appear "dated" as "The Feast of Bloody Mary". Poets such as Oscar Wilde commemorate the importance of various saints.
“Woe to the patron saint of May 9th. Tamia was born on that date”
Many children acquire names from the saint associated with their date of birth (poor sods).
Some traditional dates include:
- 2nd of January: Saints Joe Lieberman and Barbra Streisand - Memorial; also known as the Feast of the Hebrew and the Shebrew
- 6th of February: Saints Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Titch - Optional Memorial
- 22nd of February: TV Sofa of Saint Peter - Feast
- 11th of April: Saint Stan - Memorial or Saint The Cowardly Lion (moved to 10th of November in the new calendar)
- 25th of May: Saint Bed the Wench or Saint Greggs The Baker or Saint Mary The Spazzer - Optional Memorial
- 31st of May: Unwelcome Visit From Jebus' Mum
- 22nd of June: Saints Jeremy Fisher and Pigling Bland or Saint Paul of Beatles - Optional Memorial or Saint Damon Albarn
- 30th of June: First Lion Fodder - Optional Memorial
- 14th of July: Quick Sex Shock At Half Moon Street Day
- 3rd of October: Saint Taint - Patron of the female hinterland