Call Center Wars
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“I survived the Call Center Wars”
~ You on the war
“This is a war where call centers battled each other”
~ Captain Obvious on the Call Center Wars
[edit] The Beginning
In the year 2007, after HP Costa Rica were crowned dictators of Costa Rica, several small call centers, which were on the top few years ago, planned to recover the first position by attacking, destroying, mutilating and kicking the balls of the employees of this company. The company that began its attack was People Support, which was easily defeated by the Human Resources army in less than 50 seconds. After this, HP took control of the building they were in, and with this, they managed to own two buildings at Ultrapark. Simultaneously, at Forum, IBM sent an army of software developers to battle against the Cafeteria Crew. There were no survivors, IBM had to leave the continent to New Zealand.
In order to get even more terrains, Call Centers were built in terrible places such as San José, Hatillo, Desamparados, Alajuela and the hell on Earth that is Escazú. Most of these call centers were destroy by people marching against TLC and new jobs, mostly TEC students and brainless people also known as the PAC party.
[edit] The Alliance
Sykes watched these series of unfortunate events, and quickly created a pact with Alienware, Fujitsu, Intel and DHL, which was known by history books as the "Loser Team". On May 1st, 2007, the allies assaulted HP installations and they could partially destroy the east wing before being terribly stroke by a huge amount of Blade Servers and dc7600s. Although this attack was a piece of cake, HP knew something worse was about to come, so they forced Pfizer to join them as a frontline army.
Meanwhile, the "Loser Team 2", formed by Western Union, Berlitz, Maersk Line and Accuhosting, planned a better organized strategy, which consisted to release some of their employees and then send them to a HP hiring fair. Obviously, they did get hired and then began to send as much information as they could. An example was the leaking of Alonso Vásquez idiotic video which was uploaded to youtube. HP lost credibility and the "LT2" knew this was the right time to attack.
[edit] Battles in the Valley of the Sun
Maersk Sealand was the first company that retired when they realized they wouldn't get medals if they win. With this, Maersk left Costa Rica, leaving behind 20 people unemployed. They promised their managers a better future, however, this led to avoiding taxes and social security related fraud. It has been said that they locked their employees inside containers and were thrown to the Arctic Ocean in order to freeze them for future battles that may be awarded with medals or T-Shirts.
Berlitz's strategy was to stop teaching English to HP employees and instead, patoir. With this, HP employees could not communicate anymore and little by little, they lost the capability to talk to each other due to lack of English and bad Spanish, without mentioning the reggaeton "music". This created a "Tower of Babel" effect, leading to fights and murders among themselves, and ending up with their own workforce.
