Cambodia
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| Motto: "Preah Vihear, to Thailand!" | |||||
| Anthem: "Digdig Kah Boom" (The Explosive Bounty of Our Soil) | |||||
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| Capital | Phnom Penh | ||||
| Largest city | Phnom Penh | ||||
| Official languages | Khmer, English, and French (Stop speaking all 3 languages! Using codes will be better!) | ||||
| Government | Democracy under a constitutional monarchy. | ||||
| National Hero(es) | {{{national_heros}}} | ||||
| Declaration of Independence | If that's what you call it | ||||
| Currency | Riel, 4010 riel equals 1 US Dollar | ||||
| Religion | fun13042009 (Cambodia period ends) and fun30012009 (Starts July 2009) | ||||
| Population | 20,000 (approx) | ||||
| Major exports | Dynamite fishing, sex tourism, bile bears, pickled landmines, Tintin T-shirts | ||||
| Major imports | TV adverts | ||||
Le Royaume de ce qui Reste du Cambodge (The Kingdom of What's Left of Cambodia) is a country in Southeast Asia. No one knows why this is the case, since judging by the smell, the level of corruption, the number of intestinal parasites, and the general shittiness of the country it should be in Africa, or at least Haiti. Cambodians are usually referred to as "Cambodian", "Khmer", "Kampuchean" or "You poor bastard."
The Cambodian population, which stood at nearly 200 million in the 1960s, was reduced to its current level of about 20,000 by American carpet bombing during the Vietnam War and the resulting rise of the agrarian communist nutbags of the Khmer Rouge, who executed almost everyone who had survived by decapitating them with farming implements.
[edit] History
Cambodia also referred by God as the world's best damn fucking country in Asia, and it kicks the shit out of Vietnam, Laos, and the other poor excuse for the countries that landlock Cambodia. During the past years, Thailand has been a major enemy towards Cambodia; because they have been sipping on too much of that homemade Thai Haterade. The country has rarely been out of the headlines in recent years, having been made famous in the 1980s by the famous Dead Kennedys songs Holiday in Cambodia and Too Drunk to Fuck, and then put back on the map in the 1990s when British archaeologist Lara Croft and the half-elf healer Raine Sage discovered the kick-ass temple of Angkor Wat.
The discovery of Angkor Wat renewed worldwide interest in a largely forgotten period of ancient Cambodian history, when the country's Khmer Dynasty rulers totally pwned at Age of Empires, knocking over the rest of Indochina, along with Siam and Burma. And probably parts of China, for all we know.
From 1863 to 1953 Cambodia was a French "protectorate", a term that applied only very loosely and which still causes much hilarity among Cambodians. One good thing that came out of the French period was that Cambodians today make damn good baguettes. But unfortunately being a former French colony there is an epidemic of beret wearing asians, which is unfortunately slowly spreading out of control. The beret is a disease that is incurable, the infected patients having to be put down after contracting the disease.
- this Insult can not be viewed*
[edit] Politics
Cambodia usually has a king, who no one takes very seriously as he's always running away to North Korea to avoid coups. The country is really run by superannuated Khmer Rouge genocide artists. They spend most of their time in parliament voting against bills introduced by opposition leader and Evil Dead director Sam "Rainsy" Raimi that would put them on trial.
In January 2003, there were riots in Phnom Penh prompted by rumored comments about Angkor Wat by a Thai actress. Cambodian riot leaders said they didn't care what she said about their country as long as she took her clothes off while she was saying it. The idea that hobo's are also communist came from here so live with it our you'll get shot by some emo kid with a taco.
Cambodia is proud to announce taking over Mongolia, China, Tibet and Manchuria. This means that it's a Holiday in Cambodia.
[edit] People and Culture
Another festival that is a favourite among tourists is the annual Dancing Bile Bears Parade, in which Asian sun bears that have had their teeth snapped out with pliers and are being farmed for their bile are forced to dance down the main street of the capital, Phnom Penh. The bears still have their bile catheters hanging out, so revellers are able to give the tubes a suck and sample the warm, nutritious, aphrodisiac bile fresh from the bear's liver or pancreas or whatever.
Tourists also delight in spontaneous street theatre in which Cambodians playing the part of Khmer Rouge sympathisers pretend to beat the educated, the bourgeoisie, ethnic Vietnamese and people who wear glasses to death with folding chairs (pictured left). And vice versa.
Indigenous Cambodian cuisine includes such traditional dishes as braised dog quarters and rat tail soup. Innovations introduced since the Khmer Rouge regime killed everyone and wrecked everything include fried tarantulas, grass, and water buffalo shit. These last delicacies have achieved international popularity in such diverse locales as North Korea, Haiti, and especially Zimbabwe, where they now compete with traditional local cuisine. Cambodia is also world renowned for the exportation of the very nutritious Cambodian breast milk--which has been rated "best breast milk in Asia" by People Magazine since 2001.
When surveyed of "What is Cambodia?" 100 people replied: 57% Yeah, I get my clothes from there! 22% I had a friend named that in high school! 21% Is that when the bake the french fries instead of frying them?
Cambodia also has a couple of passable breweries.
See Also As George Washington also said, "Cambodian Whores are the BEST!!!"
