Camera phone

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A camera phone is a cell phone that some idiot attached a camera to. WTF? If you're going to randomly join objects together, why not attach a CD player. Or a radio. Or a microwave oven. Or a coffee cup. Or a banana, then you might get an actually useful device.


Nothing says "I'm sooo drunk" like sending someone a 320×240 picture of your tits taken with a pinhole camera in bar light.

The main use of a camera phone is to take it down the pub with you on a night out so that when you get drunker than a drunk thing, you can send a photo of your breasts to precisely the least appropriate person the moment it occurs to you, and have no recollection of it at all until three days later when you get a copy of the photo, forwarded at least ten times, in your work e-mail.

The camera phone represents a vast seismic shift in the use of phones and cameras. Before the camera phone, people were forced to use specialised photograph-taking devices, called cameras, to take pictures. Similarly, if one wanted to telephone somebody, they would have to use a separate device, such as a telephone, or a loud voice. With these two facilities combined, mankind can evolve to a higher plane of reality.

Like many really stupid ideas, the camera phone is vastly popular. Given the success of the phone with a camera in, technologists are hard at work on a phone with a camera in that isn't a complete piece of shit. They could, I don't know, use a camera with a lens or something. Success is not expected.

Other Examples of Pointless Two-In One Technology[edit]