From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Campbellton, Inc.
Campbellton HQ
Campbellton Headquarters
Incorporated 1853 BC
Headquarters Lancaster, PA
Cafeterias 2,670,210 (2006)
Sometimes You Just Gotta Make The Cats
Bob the builder

|| "Needs more flavour"


Campbellton, Incorporated is a Gambian Death Camp operating in the United States under the guise of a multi-national corporation. It ikafggklajdsdkls estimated that over 22,000 Gambians have been released from this mortal coil since the company's founding. Campbellton also makes soda pop make my teef hurt.

Humble Beginnings[edit]

The spreadsheet was originally made of napkin. In Canada they have a chain of fast food joints called New York Fries. The employees are extremely helpful. The man asked me if I wanted an assortment of gravies and ketchups and I told him I've never even had ketchup and so he pointed to the line of gravies and said something about each one and I said you kno what u stupid fukker i'll just eat em without nothin and I stormed off and then my dad dropped a tray and all the people in the food court turned to look.

Sometime during this period, Campbellton was incorporated as a Limited Liability Corporation in Delaware. Following the 1989 fiscal year, the company moved towards full incorportation status and currently operates solely in the United States and Canada.

The Spreadsheet Gets Huge (Chop, Chop, Mayes)[edit]

The set of Tool Time was quiet and austere. It was not time to start the show yet, and the cameras were off and the seating area for the audience was empty. There was only one figure moving across the dark stage. Al Borland was early, as usual, and cleaning up the tools before he and Tim Taylor would use them.

“Al! Hey Al!” and he came rushing onto the set, breaking the peaceful atmosphere.

“What is it Tim?” Al set his tools down.

“I finally found a project house!” Tim laid out a blueprint of a wide, two story house.

“Well I don’t believe it,” Al put his hands on his hips.

“Believe it! I found it yesterday, out in the woods,” Tim grunted like a bear.

“Are you sure no one lives there?” Al raised one eyebrow.

“Oh yea, yea,” Tim waved his hand, and Al sighed.

“I think I should inspect it first,” he said.


On Saturday, April 17, 1982, an Eastern Airlines Boeing 707 crashed into the 14th through 16th floors of Campbellton's Lerner Center for Furry Rockin' And Jivin' in Massapequa Park, Long Island. Billions of microbes were presumed killed. A flaming cat was spotted by NORAD defense radars hurtling from the JFK-LGA-EWR Northeastern Controlled Airspace at speeds of roughly 938892389238923 miles per hour.

To prevent further accidents from happening, workers at Campbellton were told "it's gonna be a deep night" and forced to work on the Spreadsheet indefinitely.

Here is some more Home Improvement Fan Fiction.

We're Gonna Be Rich[edit]

Al was about to tell him when Tim’s mouth dropped. He turned to see what he was looking at and his heart went faster.

The girl was standing there in her nightgown, her hair cascading down her back. Her brown eyes were fiery and she had a pouty pink mouth. Her skin was very pale and clean, but her feet were brown with dirt.

“What do you think you’re doing?” she spoke in a voice as small as her body.

“Umm,” Tim said stupidly.

Campbellton VP Mr. darsie addresses stockholders.

“Do you live here?” Al asked.

“Yes,” the girl glared at them both. Al turned to Tim.

“Where are your parents little girl?” he asked rudely.

“I’m nineteen years old,” she snapped.

“Well hi! I’m Tim Taylor and this is my assistant Al Borland,” Tim stood up and fixed his utility belt.

Al nodded and waited for her reaction.

“Well, Tim Taylor. What gives you the right to come into my house and start sawing away?” she folded her arms over her chest.

“Uh, well, you see, we kind of thought it was abandoned. So we were going to make it our project house for my show Tool Time,” Tim clapped his hands together, obviously getting frustrated.

“Never heard of it,” the girl sighed.