Cana-Greenian War
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The Cana-Greenian War was a conflict between the greatest islands in North America: United Republique de Canada and the Free Kingdom of Greenland. It all started in 1658, when Canada's former Prime Minister and Queen of Wales Celine Dion decided to change Greenland into pink, making it the first Pinkland in the World. From that time on, the peaceful people of Greenland opposed to her idea and the war began.
Queen Celine Dion created a motto: "Let's make 'em the most pinkest!" and sent 10,000 troops and 200 MIG-29 in December, 1658. The Greenies stroke back, they had the support of England's King Tony Blargh and decided to open lots of fish 'n cheaps restaurants along the island shore. That caused death to 90% of the troops.
Having a weaker army, Queen Dion called back her forces and begged for aid from Mexico. At that time, Mexico's president George V.V. Bushito sent his representatives: Ms. (Condolita) Rice and Mr. Bean to solve the situation. However, they both were eaten by starving people as soon as they landed in Perth, the capital of Canada.
People in both countries started to protest against the war. In 1558, Queen Celine got an important ally: Pink Floyd. Actually, only Floyd went to Canada's Throne Room as Pink wasn't well, he stayed back at the hotel. However, the band leader Bono "look how good guy I am" Volks donated all of his money to the Canadian cause. In exchange, Queen Dion gave him the city of Texas as a reward.
[edit] War Consequences
During the first 150 years of war, Queen Celine attached many other countries to the United Republique de Canada: United States, Luxembourg, Israel, Australia and Czech Republic. She also wished to attach Japan, but her soldiers were attacked by a bunch of Pokémons, led by Godzilla itself, who kicked their asses off the island.
The attachment of new lands made the United Republique de Canada the most populated land on Earth. According to the 2001 census, its population was 75 billion people. When the Air Force ran out of missiles, the queen order to throw people with bowling balls bind to their bodies. These attacks caused a big destruction on Greenland's main cities: Flåttenburg and Phфllenberg. As the country main business was keeping cold earthworms, most of the population got safe while hidden in bunkers.
[edit] Times of Peace
Blood, gore and violence. That was the result of the Cana-Greenian war. The conflict lasted 15,000 years, finishing in 2158 during the Ozzy Festival held in Romania. Queen Celine and Greenland President Arnold Schwarzenegger met there, got drunk and decided to live together in London (a small village in France), where they live until nowadays.
The United Republique de Canada freed its colonies in 2160 and has become a land of (free) love and adult movies.
[edit] References
- Einstein, Albert. The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Cana-Greenian War. Vol. 1. "The Fellowship". Ottawa: Department of National Defence, 2170. 3 vols.
- Einstein, Albert. The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Cana-Greenian War. Vol. 2. "Those Two". Ottawa: Department of National Defence, 2170. 3 vols.
- Einstein, Albert. The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Cana-Greenian War. Vol. 3. "Come back, boy!". Ottawa: Department of National Defence, 2170. 3 vols.
- Einstein, Albert. Queen Dion and me: Unauthorized Biography. London: Royal Historical Society, 1939.
- Einstein, Albert. How to be the greatest US scientist ever, despite still being European. New Mexico, 1944.
- Schwarzenegger, Arnold. How to be a US politician, despite still being European. Sacramento, 2000.
