Cantopop

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search


Introduction[edit]

A typical Canto pop star (two men in white coats not included)

Cantopop (traditional Chinese: 粵語流行曲, if spelt without an extra "o") is a colloquial portmanteau for "Cantonese popular music". It is sometimes referred to as HK-pop, short for "Hong Kong popular music". It is categorized as a subgenre of Chinese popular music within C-pop. Cantopop draws its influence not only from other forms of Chinese music, but from a variety of international styles including jazz, rock and roll, rhythm and blues, electronic music, western pop music and others. By and large, cantopop songs are almost invariably performed in Cantonese. Boasting a multinational fanbase, Hong Kong is the most significant hub of the genre.

What is Cantopooppop?[edit]

Few people on Uncyclopedia, yet alone the whole world have little idea what is Cantopop, and there is also less agreement on whether the this articleabove section should have been run through as a deletion. But here are some possibilities:

4 tips on being a kick-ass CantopoopCantopop star. Definitely.....4[edit]

Yes! it's so danged easy, you'll be the best in Singapore, JB, and (some say) Batam too!

  • First, you must try not to look too cool. Chinese people are spiteful and the Mafia will tattoo "EPIC FAIL" on your forehead if you're sleeping, because you generally doubleplus suck. See the above picture for a good example how to look doubleplusungood.
  • Now, you need the perfect persona to play oofoff your physical sex appeal and charm! you need some erroneously god-awful-oh-my-god-what-did-your-mum-call-you, Limey-sounding name, such as Penis Long Dong, or Charlie Han or EVEN Chicken Kung Pow!
  • It's too difficult to write your own songs in China and Hong Kong. Someone's just gonna yoink your music, so don't recruit any songwriters
  • Lastly, you can huff lolcats like bagpipes to produce the tunes you need. Otherwise, just grab some tune off some other lame-ass Eurotrash, write the words backward and add "MAAAHHH", "LORRRR", "LERRRRR", and "LAAAA" to the end of most of the words, and you've got a Grammy Award-grabbing tune!
Addenda: HAAAAA?
  • If all fails, try and get round and change into a pizza. No need to cry, since the difference between pizzas and musicians is that a pizza can easily feed a family of 1-4 individuals.

Known side effects of CantopopCantopoop[edit]

The effects of a good marketing campaign for a Cantopop artist

Treatment: the Twelve-Step Programme for Cantopop Addiction[edit]

AlcoholicsFruitcakes Anonymous (FA) (AA), the first twelve-step program, was founded in 1935 by Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob SmithNietzsche, known to AAFA members as "Drs Bill & Ted Excellent", in Akron, OhioBushehr, Iran. They established the tradition within the "anonymous" twelve-step programmes of using only first names "at the level of press, radio and film."

As AAFA was growing in the 1930s and 1940s, definite guiding principles began to emerge as the Twelve Traditions. A singleness of purpose emerged as tradition five: "Each group has but one primary purpose -- to carry its message to the alcoholic Cantopop Cantopoop fan who still suffers." Consequently, drugCantopoop addicts who do not suffer from the specifics of alcoholism involved in AA hoping for recovery technically are not welcome in "closed" meetings unless they have a desire to stop drinking alcoholchoose Classical music.


See also[edit]

See also (not necessarily connected)[edit]