Captain Anonymous

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The yearbook photo of Captain Anonymous.
Citizen Kane likes this article.

I am the one who lurks in the shadows. I am the one who writes the great works of art usually credited to "Anonymous." I am the most secret person in the world. No one knows my name. No one will ever know my name. I don't even know my own name. I am... Captain Anonymous.

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Wikipedia a splode. Therefore, there is no Wikipedia article on Captain Anonymous. However, there is an article very closely related to Captain Anonymous.

Ohnoes! Have you come to the wrong article? Maybe you were looking for Anonymous? I certainly would have put a link to it if you were.

“No one knows this guy's name.”

~ Captain Obvious on Captain Anonymous

“Indeed, Captain Obvious.”

~ Captain Anonymous on what Captain Obvious just said

“He seems pretty anonymous.”

~ Captain Understatement on Captain Anonymous

“That's an understatement.”

~ Captain Obvious on what Captain Understatement just said

“Indeed again, Captain Obvious.”

~ Captain Anonymous on what Captain Obvious just said about what Captain Understatement just said


bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbboooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooossssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss! teytey waz here

Who is he, anyway?[edit]

The Facebook profile pic of Captain Anonymous.

Nobody knows, stupid. That's exactly what Captains Obvious and Understatement just said. So could you please just shut up? I mean seriously. Who would ever ask such a stupid question? (Maybe Al Jaffee, because after all, he is the writer of Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions... but I digress.) You are all idiots.



OMG! This just in! Captain Anonymous has been hypnotized to reveal his true name!

AND HIS NAME IS: WHO THE HELL KNOWS!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

People who know who he is[edit]

Some people, such as his wife, his kids, a dead guy, nobody, and over 9,000 people he met on Facebook know who he is. Here is the complete list:

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Some random stuff[edit]

You guys know whats funny? not random stuff.

Here is a list of suspects on his real identity[edit]

Of course, nobody cares who he is anyway.

Allies[edit]

Enemies[edit]

CAPTAIN ANONYMOUS WAS HERE


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