Captain Hornblower

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

A fictional character invented by EM Forester see "A Passage to India" etc.

Hornblower is famous for being tone deaf and unable to recognise "God Save the Weasel" from "Pop goes the Queen" when played by his band of marines. Also suffered from sea-sickness and his similarity to Nelson is only slightly masked by his having the same first name (Horatio). Lived up to his last name by having, in the finest seafaring tradition, a sweetheart in every port with wich he blew his horn.

During a long and Nelson chequered career on one voyage he ended up at Madras when he had set sail for Elba. It was said that this was because he couldn't tell his Madras from his Elba. Would undoubtedly have beaten Napoleon had Napoleon been a sailor rather than a soldier.