Car salesmen

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Jack Lemon tries his hand at selling cars

Car salesmen are helpful individuals whose sole duty is to make sure you "get the best deal" when buying an automobile. Immaterialisic, selfless, and totally honest, these men and women have had their reputation tarnished by lame stand up comedians, and people who think that referring to something they don't like as a "minion of Satan" is clever.

Identification In The Wild[edit]

Car salesmen come in many varieties, but all show some common traits. Watch for these warning signs to tell if you are in fact dealing with a car salesman.

  • You instantly become the most interesting, funny, and intelligent person on Earth- despite your obvious tedium, stupidity, and let's face it, ugliness.
  • The most expensive option you are considering is obvious to them as your best option.
  • You can hear slight mutters and whimpers about "commission" if you decide to look at other lots.
  • You will frequently hear words like "One day only" "Someone is coming down right now to buy your car" "You will die if you don't buy the Scotchguard protection for your interior"

Car Salesmen, though unconcerned with material goods, are quite fond of Your Money, and will often go to great lengths to get as much of Your Money as they possibly can. Safe to interact with, unless of course you are buying a car.

See Also[edit]