Care Bears
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“HTFs look like tree friends with a better living.”
~ Captain Oblivious on the HTF's better life
| Happy Tree Friends | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Kingdom | Cuteus Animalius |
| Phylum | Mammalius |
| Class | Deathius |
| Order | Tree Friends |
| Family | Tree Friends family |
| Genus | forest |
| Species | Happy Tree Friends |
| Binomial Name | Tree Friends |
| Primary Armament | Cuteness |
| Secondary Armament | Flippy |
| Power Supply | Looking cute and better |
| HP: | 5600 billion |
| Mana Points: | 5600 billion |
| Strength: | Cute10 |
| Intelligence: | 50 |
| Weight | 50 |
| Length | short |
| Special Attack | Looks cute to People |
| Conservation Status | |
The Care Bears are a community of mentally and physically handicapped Happy Tree Friends. They are all retards and their face and body are teratoid. Although, the CBs got a better english than normal HTFs. The Happy and racist Tree Friends discriminate and segregate the Care Bears. Because of their inferiority, Aids, and unpopularity. The Happy Tree Friends live a normal and free life in the forest and eat normal or fancy food every day. Care Bears are trapped in an enclosure made of high indestructible electrified metal fences. They eat the HTFs' trashes and drink in a polluted lake. The Happy Tree Friends' world is paradise, and the Care Bears' world, a very trashy dump. The Care Bears are considered to be treated correctly, and the HTFs are taking a great care of them, because the discrimination was the Care Bears' idea, they are such stupid morons. They even demand to abolish the abolishment of slavery.
Contents |
[edit] The Happy Tree Friends
The Happy tree Friends are very cute mammals from the planet known as "Happy Tree Planet". It's a pink planet very similar to earth. This planet is in a solar system that looks the same as earth's one. In this planet there are exactly the same lands and oceans as the planet I repeatedly say (earth). The humans in the planet Happy are colorful bipedal mammals with a pink heart shaped nose with pair of buckteeth. Some HTF species don't have a heart shaped nose and a pair of buck teeth such as anteaters and moose. The animals are the same as they are in earth, but some can have a heart shaped nose. There are 20 famous HTFs because they are featured in the HTF TV series. They are all illustrated in the picture.
[edit] Lifestyle
They have a pretty good and normal life. But it always finishes in a disaster and they'll wound and even die. Most of the HTF's deaths are very gory and violent. When they die they later mysteriously resurrect and don't remember about their death. It's very amusing to see them pain and die.
In other words, they live like Kenny McCormick.
[edit] Famous HTFs
[edit] Major famous HTFs
They are famous because of their appearances in the HTF TV series.
[edit] Petunia
Petunia is a blue female skunk. She is the leader of the Happy Tree Friends. She is the only HTF that speaks English better than the CBs. She HOT! H-O-T, HOT. I would ramble about how hot Petunia is because Disco Bear told me how hot is was, but everybody in the universe knows how hot she is so lets just say she's 10x hotter than Giggles. She would smell like hell if she woudn't have her flower on her head and a deodorizer around her neck. She takes over 10 showers a day, and always wipe her ass with water, soap, cleansing agent and toilet paper when she shits. She is best friend with Giggles. She really enjoys cooking, she cooks fancy food. She also is a Feminist and voted for Sarah Palin for President!
Petunia Jr.
Petunia is a blue male skunk. He is Petunia's son. He is like Petunia, only he doesn't speak clearly as Petunia.
[edit] Cuddles
Cuddles is a yellow male rabbit. He is nammed Cuddles because he likes to cuddle Giggles. He really likes pink, and please, do not think about that, he's not gay! His cheeks are pink painted and he wears pink rabbit slippers. I got it! he loves Giggles because she's pink. He likes to eat carrots, with his nephew. However, he always dies when he eats them, He has been revived 1278 times now.
[edit] Giggles
Giggles is a pink female chipmunk. She has a red bow on her head. She loves Cuddles, she likes his yellow fur and his banana. If she see your penis she will scream. If she see cuddles penis, she... ok... i... maybye stop here... SHE DO THIS. She has been seen cheating on cuddles with other guys (She says she's no slut )
[edit] Toothy
Toothy is a purple male beaver. He is Cuddles' best friend. He is freckle faced and has a so large space between his buckteeth. He really likes monster movies. Toothy oftent tortures Care Bears with Cuddles and Lumpy.
[edit] Lumpy
Lumpy is a blue male moose. This guy is a big idiot. He is very tall and looks a bit diferent to other HTFs, 3 trillion of the 300 trillion HTFs have the same kind of body as him. He has normal nostrils instead of a heart shaped nose. He has huge mismatched antlers. He is the first one that has started to torture the Care Bears, then Cuddles and Toothy later joined in to that activity. His antlers are powerful wepeons. In 1988, he has been a famous dare devil. The reason he is famous is because he always fails his cascades. All the vewers of his cascades where enjoying him injuring. In 1994, his career failed because he succeed a cascade
[edit] Handy
Handy is an orange male beaver, he is amputated arms and wears a hard hat and a tool belt. He is a carpenter and HOW THE FUCK CAN HE DO ALL THAT STUFF WITHOUT HIS HANDS !? It's a mystery. And also, HOW THE HELL CAN HE JACK OFF !? Well he mostly builds things for Giggles and Petunia, and already built a treehouse for Petunia and a pink house for Giggles.
[edit] Nutty
Nutty is a yellow-green male squirrel. He is an hyperactive sugar addicted squirrel. For him candies are like sex exept he can get some as much as he wants. He has candies stuck on his fur. He has a crush on Pudding because she has lots of sugar, candies and chocolate in her house, he's even sexually interested by her own cake.
[edit] Sniffles
Sniffles is a blue-gray male anteater. It is a nerd. He has a long trunk where is nose and mouth are. It is very interested in math and science. Even if it is a nerd, it is not ugly (but not cute neither). It is not rejected by others, how amazing ! but he is still uncool (not as much as Care Bears) and does nerdy activities. It has a very long tongue (which explains why the girls like him). It really loves to eat ants, but always get tortured and killed by them. It has an evil plan. It plans to make a nuclear atomic bomb to make explode in the Care Bears' territory to decrease the number of CBs. If its plan successfully works, that will make it a hero and it will get cooler.
[edit] Pop
Pop is a pale brown male bear. He is the stereotypically clueless, bathrobe-wearing, pipe-smoking 1950s style sitcom father. Pop accidentally kills his son Cub, because he's a very incompetent father. He is a widower. With recent scientific researches, HTFs who dies over 1 million time die permanently. Pop was married for 25 years until Pop clumsily killed his wife more than one million times.
[edit] Cub
Cub is a very young pale brown male bear. He is the son of Pop. He is a baby and frequently smells like crap because Pop rarely changes his diaper. Cub got used to have crap in beetween his legs and Pop put some perfume on him to smell good an hide the shit smell. Pop actually changes Cub's diaper once a week and only change it when he gives him a bath.
[edit] Flaky
Flaky is a red female porcupine... or a boy... it is the only character we haven't seen the Sex Organ on. its quills are full of dandruff. it is frightened easily. it behaves a bit like a boy, because it enjoys playing baseball, but it likes flowers. it is afraid of chicks, more precisely of baby birds. She is very shy and is afraid of almost evrything. She's even afraid of you, <insert name here>. (hey, if you are going to rape her, say what you saw, a Vagina or a penis). You will see what it is.
[edit] The Mole
The Mole is a lavender male mole. He wears dark glasses and a purple turtleneck. He is blind and has a mole on his face. He does numerous things that require vision such as stopping at a red light, lighting a match to see in the dark, reading a book, smoking marijuana, but also mistakes some objects or body parts for other things. The Mole rarely dies and frequently kills others.
[edit] Disco Bear
Disco Bear is a golden male bear. He has an orange afro and two sideburns. He likes to dance to brutal death metal country disco music. He thinks that Flaky is pretty and that Giggles and Petunia are hot. Petunia is the HOTTEST CHICK on the planet. He frequently tries to rape seduce them but when Disco Bear tries to rape seduce Petunia, he ends up in a madhouse Nutty's house.
[edit] Russell
Russell is a Pastel green sea otter. He is a butt pirate, searching the seas for cheap male prostitutes treasure. He wears two peglegs. His vocabulary is limited to Village People songs the word "Yar!". He enjoys fishing, sailing and eating out Handy's ass seafood. Russell lost his genitalia in an unfortunate masturbating accident, forgetting that his jack-off hand had recently been replaced by a hook. He paid a thousand bucks to Sniffles so it makes a clone of Lumpy's penis. After a whole month without genitals and action, Sniffles finally made it, it implanted the clone penis. After Russell's operation, he found out that his new penis was bigger than his leg. This involves, sperm floodings. He later decided to use his sperm as a sauce for his seafood, because we have to preserve sperm like we do with water.
[edit] Lifty and Shifty
The two green twin Kleptomatic Raccoon Brothers (or should I say two Dumbass raccoon brothers). These two are two of the most hated criminal HTF's. However, since they frequently steal merchandise from other Htf's for their own greed, the are most likely to get their asses kicked more often. They steal stuff from lumpy more often than anything else. But, If they steal from flippy...bad, bad, very dreadful Idea. Like in episode, "Easy for you to sleigh". Shifty (the one with the fedora) was owned like a bitch, by flippy. Than soon after Lifty was completely demolished and Mentally Raped by flippy. Just goes to show these two are the most evil,..But lack alot of commensense.(Serously, who in their right fucken mind would dare fuck with flippy???) But talk about double the trouble, these two would both steal your heart, than get their green raccoon asses kicked, than sell it back two you. Also, one of their most notable traits is their laugh, which kinda sounds queer (no offense) but cute and evil at the same time. And their laugh changes in different episodes. Here is an example: Shifty and Lifty together: "Ehehehehehehehe!" fuck Another: Lifty: "Hehehehehehehe!" Shifty: "Ohohohohohoho!" (like santa clause.XD) or "Ohahahahahaha" (more Dramatic like Micheal Jackson.)
Shifty seems to always love his brother Lifty like he's his own personal bitch to throw around, and kills him when ever the fuck he wants. This is why lifty and Shifty are seen as the Pimp gangsta (Shifty) and the bitch (Lifty) of Happy Tree Friends.
[edit] Flippy
the result of Rambo, winnie the pooh and a lime having some sick twisted experiment (threesome) to make the ultimate hybrid of BADASS. before the planet of flipton being destroyed, Flippy was saved by being sent into space, ever since he landed he gained some sort of mental illness which makes him murder everything that moves, yet everyone is retarded enough to not put him in an asylum. a newspaper reporter made a controversial report that chuck norris was Flippys father, chuck norris replied by cutting the reporter in half with his teeth, ripping out his heart and stuffing it in his mouth, ripping out his stomach and intestines and using it as a bagpipe gun and shot down the entire newspaper staff with bullets as ammo. He then confirmed he had involvement in Flippys creation but did not specify how.
[edit] Minor Famous HTFs
Never appeared in in the HTF tv series, but known for other reasons.
[edit] Preggers
Based off of that Juno movie, this teenage runaway beauty school dropout is fucking fat. See her belly? It's her illegitimate cub from her stepdad, brother, uncle, any of her 4 boyfriends or 2 girlfriends, kicks the crap inside of her. She comes down with morning sickness and pukes the pickles-and-ice cream she's been craving all night. Also she's NOT in the mood (her hormones) while the whole care bears want to "cheer" her up with a surprise baby shower, but it scared her til she pee'd in carelot (on Earth, it's yellow rain). One superability she has is to push the rainbow out of her rear end (vagina) and another is leaky breasts (what's your superpower?). She wants to go into a fetish film industry called "Laction Films" in San Fernando, Cal.
[edit] Niggers
Say what? They be got a brotha bear. He's blacker than black. God oh mighty. The shizzle is da' shit, foo. That right, A'ight? Itz all good.
Categorypar:Celebrities Categorypar:Cute
[edit] The Care Bears
The Care Bears all have mental retardation and their body and face have visible developmental deformities. They live in a very trashy dump inside a enclosure. Female HTFs that give birth to a Care Bear will kill it or send it to the CB enclosure. The king of the Care Bears has the word GAY written on his belly. Its crown is made of dried out crap. The king has a huge penis shaped seat. And another famous Care Bears is the Sperm Shooter. He shoots sperm on whores and on gay guys. It likes to read the Play Retard magazines, similar to Play Boy and Play Dude. The Care Bears frequently get orgasms. Most of Care Bears are Retarded like Caillou, Peter Griffin, and George Dubya Bush and some are even creationists (a lower ranking than Retarded). As you can see, the Care Bears, are nothing but retarded perverts. Though, they speak better English than the HTFs.
[edit] External links
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