Carrot Top

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The Carrot Top singularity, as depicted by an illustrator. You can spot the black hole in the middle of it.

“He's a redhead”

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Carrot Top.

Carrot Top is a singularity in the Uncyclopedia world. This is because he is so weird that you cannot say anything funny about him.

Come on: try to mock Carrot Top. What can you say that hasn't been already said? Ugly? Already done. Boring? Said too many times. Gay? Definitely ... that's the rumor, anyway, I wouldn't know first hand because I like girls, I swear. Freak? Pervert? Scary? Check, check and checkmate. As you can see, nobody can make fun of Carrot Top since he has managed to make such a ridicule of himself, that somehow, it collapsed absorbing all the ridiculousness around him.

From a quantic point of view, Carrot Top resembles a black hole. With the sole difference that he doesn't look black or hollow. However, professor Stephen Hawking has said the following about Carrot Top:

Cquote1.png "kjshdkjheeeeeeeeeeeeeeendnllllllllll sorry, my cat was walking over the keyboard.

Ah, Carrot Top. He is black and hollow. It seems to be white, but the colour is given by the small amounts of light that is generated when ridiculousness tries to escape the Carrot Top Weird Gravity Field. We have calculated that if we send an astronaut near Carrot Top, time will seem to expand to infinity. That's not related to relativity, but to the fact that any person put near Carrot Top will bore itself to death, making them feel as if time were eternal."


Carrot Top's collapse into a singularity of 4-dimensional "LaughTime" was rumored to be triggered by his divorce from Carrot Bottom.

Science found a new solution[edit]

In 2009, the scientists, that usually cure baldness and improve erection times on chimpanzees, discovered a solution to the long-standing Carrot Top singularity problem: Inversion of the event horizon. Act as if he were totally normal.

Two days after the publication, critics were quoted, saying that it could potentially destroy the universe. One week later, the same critics were quoted again, stating that they don't care, because it were “fuckin’ worth it”. And that they rather destroy the universe, than live in one with a Carrot Top entity in it.

Prototype examples are rumored to follow in the next weeks…

See Also[edit]

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Carrot Top.

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