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Cash Cab is the latest in a series of high quality television series to air on the cable broadcasting channel 'Channel V(iagra)'. Airing weekends at 6:30 pm, (and repeated an average 29 times per day) the stylish production is hosted by none other than Mr. Style himself, James Kerley a.k.a. Channel V's latest overexposed piece of fresh white ass.
In early 2007, Channel V's future was in doubt after the shocking mass murder of a two of its most prominent stars, Yumi Suzuki and that black woman. At approximately 3:59 pm on January 27th the 'whatuwant' crew (Yumi Suzuki, the retarded guy, 'that black woman' and James Matheson) were open fired on by Australian Aria Award Winner Ben Lee(see []) during a live broadcast of the renowned classical music programme. Suzuki and 'that black woman' were at the side of a stage at the Sydney 'Big Day Out' interviewing renowned Channel V ass kissers 'The Veronicas' when Lee, aged 27, approched them and revealed an AK-47.
He started yelling in our faces, there was spit flying everywhere. He kept telling us that we were the reason his album lost out to Missy Higgins' the Sound of White - The Ugly Veronica
In an effort to prevent the murder of Channel V's most prized set of twins, Suzuki attempted to throw 'that black woman' into Lee's firing line. The retard guy, being the retard he is, ran up to Lee screaming 'Catch My Disease. Catch My Disease'. Lee, caught off guard by the sight of his only fan attempting to molest him, fumbled and dropped his firearm. The AK-47 then self discharged, firing 17 rounds into 'that black woman', killing her instantly. A single fatal bullet struck Suzuki in the thigh, severing her aorta. A police report filed at the scene, deemed the killer to be the retarded guy, who was later shipped off to Namibia and now spends his days dressed in drag in a poverty strucken all girls orphanage. Matheson, who wass in the studio at the time of the shooting, somehow found himself to be the true victim of the day's events and moved to Fiji with his long term partner Andrew G in an attempt to 'escape the ensuing media bombardment'. As expected, the incident recieved little mainstream media coverage, with SBS News running its story 'Big Day Out Proprietors Loose Seven Dollars After Silly Channel V Presenters Get Themselves Killed', following its story on Funnny Slovakian Dinner Sets.
The holy producers of Channel V, Gretel Kileen and Magda Subanski were faced with a severe shortage of fake, superficial presenters and so began their 'Search For Australia's Next Yumi'. The only two auditionees were James Kerley and Larry Emdur. Kerley was hired and cast in every Channel V program (including the critically acclaimed MXC). The premise for 'Cash Cab' was devised during a three way session of sexual intercourse between Gretel, her boyfriend, former big brother contestant Saxon, and James. Larry Emdur has since claimed that he was in fact the creator of 'Cash Cab'.
The Veronica's and Mr. Lee in less hostile times
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