Cat pirate

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A cat pirate is the worst thing you can run into on the sea. They have no regret and attack you by shooting pudding out of their cannons. After they capture you they will torture you by making you read One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish until your temperature reaches 9000 volts. Then you will become a slave and make Persian rugs in a sweat shop. The lucky ones get to clean the bowels of the hippos. When under control of the cat pirates you become Hindu so you can enslave the Iraqis. Cat pirates steal everything they can find, except instant breakfasts. Catnip is the only thing that can stop the cat pirates, only because it's like weed to them. They're also vulnerable to samurai swords.