Category:Oscar Wildeizms
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“i am jacks asshole, if jacks boyfriend make me bleed, i weep blood, I don't like all this incessant quoting of me.”
~ Oscar Wilde on all the quotes attributed to him
“In Soviet Russia, Oscar Wilde quotes YOU!!”
~ Russian Reversal on Oscar Wildeizms
“In Soviet Russia, joke kills you!!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Russian Reversal
“Who are people quoting?”
~ Captain Oblivious on Oscar Wilde
“A lot of articles on Uncyclopedia have quotes of him.”
~ Captain Obvious on Oscar Wilde
“YOU can also quote every article in Uncyclopedia now. If you would like to do.”
~ Optimus Wilde on Oscar Wildeizms
“This is my favorite aria. This is Maria Callas. This is "Andrea Chenier", Umberto Giordano. This is Madeleine. She's saying how during the French Revolution, a mob set fire to her house, and her mother died... saving her. "Look, the place that cradled me is burning." Can you hear the heartache in her voice? Can you feel it, Joe? In come the strings, and it changes everything. The music fills with a hope, and that'll change again. Listen... listen..."I bring sorrow to those who love me." Oh, that single cello! "It was during this sorrow that love came to me." A voice filled with harmony. It says, "Live still, I am life. Heaven is in your eyes. Is everything around you just the blood and mud? I am divine. I am oblivion. I am the god... that comes down from the heavens, and makes of the Earth a heaven. I am love!... I am love." ”
~ Tom Hanks on something about AIDS in that movie Philadelphia
Oscar "Bitches" Wilde was an Irish tone poet, a war elephant in the Pubic wars, martial artist, musician, owner of Richard III, freemason, noted wit, nudist, kumquat farmer, professional trampolinist, string tangler, inventor of Sex Wax, clinical bear,elite black ops commander, masturbator, original kitten-huffer, coco shunter, man-about-town, turnip, jack of all trades, bartender, showgirl, manatee, Horse-gobbler, plum pudding, inventor of the internet, starting power forward for the University of Houston's Phi Slamma Jamma, yoga instructor, cow teat puller, writer of the Constitution, salami enthusiast, anti-Semetic, pro-Semetic, Martin Luther King Jr's brother, love-child of Booker T. Washington and Margaret Thatcher, actor who voiced Mushmouth on Fat Albert, self-confessed player of the "pink oboe", the first black president, Broadway actor and singer, professional gigolo, son of the Leviathan, a carrot, a pair of scissors, the first white president, a hellspawn, the creator of all good things, a techno-viking, Woody Harrelson's left nut, Mr. Miyagi's mentor, the first female president, two time Ultimate Fighting Champion, anti-abortionist, a staunch opponent of multitasking, and a widely-thought-to-be misshapen almond. Additionally, Wilde served as the seventeenth God from approximately 6 a.m. on June 1, 1976 until sometime later that day, when he resigned his post to try out for the Canadian Olympic curling team. He was also your pimp.
But perhaps most importantly, Oscar Wilde was the founder and chief-editor of Uncyclopedia, for the first fifty years of its existence. He is also the current chairman of Your True Masters due to him being slightly sexier than Firefox.
As you browse Uncyclopedia, you will see many comments from the Great Man sprinkled throughout the pages. Take special heed of these - for Oscar Wilde's insights are similar to those of Nostradamus' in their prediction of natural disasters and presidents appointed by the Supreme Court.
But one must be careful - after his retirement, a number of editors added comments to Uncyclopedia which were mistakenly attributed to Oscar Wilde. In order to ensure you are looking at a vintage, official Oscar Wilde quote, make sure it is attached to an article listed below.
If you wish to see what all the fuss is about, skim the articles below - all have been blessed by the wisdom that is Wilde.
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Pages in category "Oscar Wildeizms"
The following 197 pages are in this category, out of 6,742 total.
