Celebrity Big Brother

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Big Brother 8 contestant Zach in a composite sketch after an attempted armed robbery.

“In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!!.”

~ Russian reversal on Big Brother

Celebrity Big Brother (or I'm A Celebrity, Please Please Please Please Please Get Me Back On The Telly and also known as I'm Not Actually A Celebrity But Who Cares, No One Actually Watches This Trollop Anyway or "Celebrity" Big Brother wink, wink) is a TV show aired in the UK. Each week, a Z-list celebrity is filmed 24 hours a day as they become the shadowy figurehead of a government that controls every aspect of its citizens life, including their thoughts.

The name is, in fact a bit of a lie as few have actually heard of the participants... those who have need a life

In 2009 it was announced that a special Big Brother will take place. It is unlike any other Big Brother in history. 15 housemates will walk in the house.... and then evicted 20 minutes later, every single one of them. Then the public will watch the empty house for 9 weeks.


Contents

[edit] Rules

Successful contestants on the show become universally adored by the public while it is airing, only to quickly fade into obscurity once it finishes. The increased media attention briefly increases their earning power while they search for another reality TV show to appear on.

Contestants who fail become trapped as an ordinary citizen of the world, and once a successful contestant appears they are shot in the back of the head as they come to realise that they do indeed love the new contestant, who is 'Big Brother' for that week.

[edit] Contestants

[edit] Season 1

  • Sid Owen -Successfull
  • Calum Best - Successful
  • Stevie Wonder - Failed (Commited Suicide), would have been successful.
  • Abi Titmus - Failed (dead)
  • Jodie Marsh - Failed (dead)
  • Ross Kemp - Successful
  • Ian Wright - Failed (awaiting successful contestant)
  • Saddam Hussein - Seized by US Special Forces (would have won otherwise)
  • Robert Kilroy Silk - Successful (No one would vote for him)

[edit] Season 2

[edit] Season 3

[edit] Season 4

Big Brother's "logo" for Season 3, in actuality a powerful mind control device
The house Living room (Season 4)
The house Bedroom (Season 4)

[edit] 5th Season

The 5th Season ran for 50 days in early 2007. Robbie Williams was convinced to take part. Producers asked him to be on the show as he would likely produce more "best bits" than any other contestant in the show's history. Controversial people such as Lance "Lance Vance Dance" Vance and Barack "Yes we can" Obama were asked to take part. Producers are being criticized for yet again allowing mentally unstable contestants in, such as Claude Speed, who was Mute.

Contestants:

[edit] LGBT Special

This Series included 5 lesbians, 2 Bisexuals, 2 Transsexuals and 5 gays.

[edit] Gays

  • Jay Bahamanian - Evicted 9th
  • Mark Null - Evicted Last
  • Todd 'Big E' Weston - 4th Place
  • Harold "The Father"Brown - Evicted 8th
  • Martin Blake - 2nd Place

[edit] Transsexuals

  • Blake Ryson (Born Loren Hartford) - Evicted 6th
  • Gemma Warham (Born Gary Warham)- Evicted 4th

[edit] Bisexuals

  • Melissa Hart - Evicted 2nd
  • Tyrese Tyree - Evicted 3rd

[edit] Lesbians

  • Amy Garmen - Winner
  • Martina Carmen Jay Phoebe Mohamed Jesus Louis Walsh - Evicted 5th
  • Louise Smoult - Evicted 7th
  • Heidi-Lee Marsh - 3rd Place
  • Jo-Anne Westt - Evicted 1st

[edit] Nominations

  Day 6 Day 12 Day 19 Day 26 Day 34 Day 41 Day 45 Finals (Day 50)
Claude Jade
CJ 		Mariah
Simon 		Mariah
Sinead 		Mariah
Susan		 Mariah
CJ		 Mariah
Jeremy 		Barack
Jeremy 		Winner
Leona Jade
CJ 		Claude
Sinead 		CJ
Sinead 		CJ
Susan		 No
nominations 		Barack
Mariah 		Jeremy
Barack 		Runner-up
Lance Jade
CJ 		Banned Sinead
CJ 		CJ
Susan		 No
nominations 		Jeremy
Mariah 		Jeremy
Barack 		3rd Place
Robbie Not in
house 		Exempt Jeremy
Leona 		4th Place
Jeremy Jade
CJ 		Simon
Leona 		Leona
Sinead 		Oscar
CJ 		No
nominations 		Claude
Leona 		Claude
Lance		 Evicted
Day 49
Barack Jade
Claude 		Banned Claude
Mariah 		Claude
Susan		 No
nominations 		Claude
Mariah 		Claude
Lance		 Evicted
(Day 47)
Mariah Jade
Claude 		Claude
Simon 		Claude
Sinead 		Claude
CJ 		No
nominations 		Claude
Barack 		Evicted
(Day 42)
CJ Jade
Claude 		Banned Claude
Leona 		Claude
Susan		 No
nominations 		Evicted
(Day 35)
Susan Jade
Jeremy 		Claude
Leona 		Leona
Sinead 		Claude
CJ 		Evicted
(Day 28)
Sinead Jade
Claude 		Leona
Simon 		Claude
CJ 		Evicted
(Day 21)
Simon Jade
CJ 		Claude
Sinead 		Evicted
(Day 14)
Jade Claude
CJ 		Evicted
(Day 7)
Spongebob Ejected
(Day 5)
Shilpa Walked
(Day 5)
Against
public vote 		CJ
Claude
Jade 		Leona
Claude
Simon 		Leona
Sinead 		Susan
CJ 		Mariah
CJ 		Claude
Mariah		 Barack
Jeremy 		Barack
Claude
Lance
Leona

Robbie
Evicted Jade

96.6%
to evict

Simon

78.7%
to evict

Sinead

69.2%
to evict

Susan

46.7%
to save

CJ

69.2%
to evict

Mariah

56.3%
to evict

Barack

100%
to evict

Jeremy
0.2%
(out of 5)
Robbie
0.6%
(out of 4)
Lance
24%
(out of 3)
Leona
68%
(out of 2)
Claude
69%
(to win)


  • There were no nominations in week five. Instead, Big Brother gave an endurance challenge entitled "Locked in a room with Limburger." Claude spent the longest time in the limburger room, and won the right to choose the week's nominees.
  • Barack, Boris and CJ discussed nominations, so they were banned from nominating.

[edit] Current Season

You are now willing to pay 50p to affect the outcome of a dumb TV programme.

Contestants:

[edit] Next Season

Contestants:

[edit] New Season


[edit] Nomination Table

  Day 5 Day 10 Day 15 Day 20 Day 25 Day 30 Day 60 Finals (Day 69)
Gay Gordon
Patrick 		Domo
Wikipedia 		Albert
Goar 		Liz
Borat 		Evicted
Day 25
Patrick Not in House Bill
Gay 		Banned Gay
Liz 		Domo
Albert 		Evicted
Day 30
Your Mom Stingray
Bill 		Bill
Wikipedia 		Patrick
Domo-Kun 		Taz
Mufasa 		Goar
Albert 		Evicted
Day 50
Giratina Stingray
Bill 		Your Mum
Your Dad 		Patrick
Wikipedia 		Taz
Mufasa 		Goar
Your Mum 		Vlad
Taz 		No
Nominations
Bill Your Mom
Your Dad 		Patrick
Gordon 		Evicted
Day 12
Domo-Kun Stingray
Bill 		Patrick
Himself 		Not
Eligible 		Patrick
Liz 		DEAD!!!!!
Day 27
Gordon Stingray
Your Dad 		Your Dad
Domo-Kun 		Patrick
Mufasa 		Banned Evicted
Day 34
Liz Stingray
Your Perverted Mom 		Patrick
Domo-Kun 		Domo-Kun
Gordon 		Gordon
Goar 		No
Nominations 		Yeti
Elvis 		Evicted
Day 41
Your Dad Domo-Kun
Stingray 		Liz
Patrick 		Patrick
Domo-Kun 		Goar
Gordon		 Banned Goar
Albert		 Albert
Wikipedia
Goar Domo-Kun
Stingray 		Your Perverted Dad
Your Bitchy Mom 		 !!
!!		 Goar No
Nominations 		Vlad
Elvis 		No
Nominations
Shrek R
Elvis 		George
Santa 		No
Nominations 		Homer
Santa 		No
Nominations 		Taz
Vlad 		Exploded
Day 59
Santa Yeti
RavonX		 Yeti
RavonX 		No
Nominations 		Yeti
--George-- 		No
Nominations 		Evicted
Day 34
Snoopy Charles
RavonX 		Evicted
Day 6
Taz George
Snoopy 		George
RavonX 		No
Nominations 		Santa
Shrek 		No
Nominations 		Vlad
Yeti 		No
Nominations
Charles RavonX
Snoopy 		RavonX
George 		No
Nominations 		Evicted
Day 19
Against
public vote 		RavonX
Snoopy 		George
RavonX
Yeti 		Charles
George
Yeti 		Mufasa
De Horn
Yeti 		All
Housemates 		Taz
Vlad
Yeti 		Elvis
Homer
Shrek
taz
Yeti
Evicted

45.7%
Snoopy to evict

67.9%
RavonXto evict

5.1%
Charlesto SAVE

86%
Mufasato evict

%
to evict

%76
Vladto evict

%8.1
Shrekto WIN


(Y)%19, %24 (T)
Yeti and Taz(out of 4)

%67
Evis(Runner up)

%99.5
Homer(TO WIN)

[edit] 2008 Series

  • Lord Voldemort - Alien Evicted 1st
  • Hurricane Katrina - Hurricane Left the house because it wanted to cause Havoc.
  • Céline Dion - Professional Songwriter - Evicted 5th
  • Phil Collins - Professional Songwriter
  • Willy 'The Big Nigger' Wanker - Black, Gay Man
  • The Sissies (June Sissy, Victoria Sissy, Melina Sissy and Kimi Sissy) - Dirty Sluts 4RD PLACE IN THE FINAL
  • Mr. Barrence Herman - Evil Substitute Teacher Evicted 2nd
  • Mr. and Mrs. Penis - a Dirty Couple - Evicted 5th
  • Dumbledore - Gay Wizard - Evicted 6th
  • Joseph Gunya - An Idiot Evicted 3rd
  • Jar Jis Jse - A fat Lesbian Slug Evicted 4th
  • Kelly Kam Kam - A Lesbian - Evicted 5th
  • Jabba the Hutt - A Slug-Like Hutt 5TH PLACE IN THE FINAL
  • Al Gore 3RD PLACE IN THE FINALE
  • Claude Speed - Some Mute Bastard WINNER
  • Heath Ledger - sexy ass Brokeback mountain star♥♥♥ EVICTED 7th
  • Bold - Present
  • Italics - Evicted
  • Nominated*
  • Fake Evicted

[edit] Nominations Table

  Day 6 Day 12 Day 19 Day 26 Day 34 Day 41 Day 59 Finals (Day 60)
Mufasa Snoopy
RavonX 		RavonX
George 		No
Nominations 		De Horn
Taz 		Evicted
Day 26
De Horn Banned RavonX
R 		No
Nominations 		Taz
Mufasa 		No
Nominations 		Evicted
Day 34
Homer RavonX
Snoopy 		RavonX
De Horn 		Yeti
George
Charles 		Taz
Mufasa 		No
Nominations 		Vlad
Taz 		No
Nominations
RavonX Punished For Nominating
due to a Broken Rule 		Banned Evicted
Day 12
George Banned Not
Enigible 		No
Nominations 		Mufasa
De Horn 		Walked
Day 26
R RavonX
Snoopy 		RavonX
Vlad 		No
Nominations 		Vlad
Mufasa 		No
Nominations 		Evicted
Day 34
Vlad De Horn
Snoopy 		Yeti
Elvis 		No
Nominations 		De Horn
--George-- 		No
Nominations 		Yeti
Elvis 		Evicted
Day 41
Elvis RavonX
George 		RavonX
George 		No
Nominations 		Yeti
Mufasa 		No
Nominations 		Vlad
Yeti 		No
Nominations
Yeti Mufasa
Homer 		RavonX
George 		No
Nominations 		De Horn
Mufasa 		No
Nominations 		Vlad
Elvis 		No
Nominations
Shrek R
Elvis 		George
Santa 		No
Nominations 		Homer
Santa 		No
Nominations 		Taz
Vlad 		Exploded
Day 59
Santa Yeti
RavonX		 Yeti
RavonX 		No
Nominations 		Yeti
--George-- 		No
Nominations 		Evicted
Day 34
Snoopy Charles
RavonX 		Evicted
Day 6
Taz George
Snoopy 		George
RavonX 		No
Nominations 		Santa
Shrek 		No
Nominations 		Vlad
Yeti 		No
Nominations
Charles RavonX
Snoopy 		RavonX
George 		No
Nominations 		Evicted
Day 19
Against
public vote 		RavonX
Snoopy 		George
RavonX
Yeti 		Charles
George
Yeti 		Mufasa
De Horn
Yeti 		All
Housemates 		Taz
Vlad
Yeti 		Elvis
Homer
Shrek
taz
Yeti
Evicted

45.7%
Snoopy to evict

67.9%
RavonXto evict

5.1%
Charlesto SAVE

86%
Mufasato evict

%
to evict

%76
Vladto evict

%8.1
Shrekto WIN


(Y)%19, %24 (T)
Yeti and Taz(out of 4)

%67
Evis(Runner up)

%99.5
Homer(TO WIN)


W1

  • De Horn and George were Disscussing Nominations, so they were banned from nominating
  • RavonX Was Punished from Nominating for Being Big Brother's Slave in the Dirty House Task

W2

  • George was not enigible for nominating because he failed a task
  • RavonX Was Banned for Discussing Nominations

W3

  • Homer Sucsessfully Passed a Task so he Got to nominate three Of His Fellow Housemates

W4

  • George's Votes were not Counted because he left the house

W5

  • The Housemates Failed a task so all of them face eviction
  • It Will Be a TRIPLE Eviction

[edit] January 2009 Series

Housemates-

[[2]]

[edit] Summer 2009 Series

  Day 6 Day 12 Day 19 Day 26 Day 34 Day 41 Day 45 Finals (Day 50) Nominations
received
Ian Stuart
Carole 		Stuart
Tara 		Stuart
Tina 		Stuart
Oscar 		Stuart
Carole		 Stuart
David 		Michael
David 		Winner 22
Bill Domo
Carole 		Banned Carole
Tina 		Carole
Oscar 		No
nominations 		Michael
Stuart 		David
Michael 		Runner-up 12
Boris Domo
Carole 		Banned Tina
Carole 		Carole
Oscar 		No
nominations 		David
Stuart 		David
Michael 		3rd Place 2
Bai Not in
house 		Exempt David
Bill 		4th Place 0
Michael Domo
Carole 		Tara
Bill 		Bill
Tina 		Oscar
Carole 		No
nominations 		Ian
Bill 		Ian
Boris 		5th Place 5
David Domo
Ian 		Ian
Bill 		Ian
Bill 		Ian
Oscar 		No
nominations 		Ian
Stuart 		Ian
Boris 		Evicted
(Day 47) 		6
Stuart Domo
Ian 		Ian
Tara 		Ian
Tina 		Ian
Carole 		No
nominations 		Ian
Michael 		Evicted
(Day 42) 		10
Carole Domo
Ian 		Ian
Tara		 Ian
Bill 		Ian
Oscar 		No
nominations 		Evicted
(Day 35) 		14
Oscar Domo
Ian 		Ian
Bill 		Bill
Tina 		Ian
Carole 		Evicted
(Day 28) 		6
Tina Domo
Ian 		Bill
Tara 		Ian
Bill 		Evicted
(Day 21) 		6
Tara Domo
Carole 		Ian
Bill 		Evicted
(Day 14) 		5
Domo Stuart
Carole 		Evicted
(Day 7) 		9
Spongebob Eaten by Domo
(Day 5) 		0
Shilpa Eaten by Domo
(Day 3) 		0
Against
public vote 		Domo
Carole 		Bill
Ian
Tara 		Bill
Tina 		Oscar
Carole 		Stuart
Carole 		Ian
Stuart 		Michael
David 		Bill
Boris
Ian
Mike
Bai
Evicted Domo

50.01%
to evict

Tara

61.4%
to evict

Tina

54.2%
to evict

Oscar

46.7%
to save

Carole

77.4%
to evict

Stuart

56.3%
to evict

David

66.1%
to evict

Michael
6.6%
(out of 5)
Bai
10.6%
(out of 4)
Boris
24%
(out of 3)
Bill
37%
(out of 2)
Ian
63%
(to win)

[edit] Controversy

  • The Public expected Mini-Me to win but Britney won, there was no error, she received 300,000,000% of the public vote.
The B Block Bedroom
The 2009 Garden
The Golden Nude Man is a Housemate
The Living room

[edit] Celebrity Big Gonad Removal

When everyone realised that watching people made them break things, The Producers devised a concept of an educational show, in which they packed as many celebeutantes into a crack house under the pretence of an evening ego-wanking with Madonna, and would promptly be locked in the house, chained to various parts of the room by their dicks and cliteral strings, and told that they would have to Saw these offending body parts off to escape. A sceptical audience flocked in its millions to watch this, making it the first thing Education Secretary Ruth Kelly ever did right, and making her flog herself till she got a bit horny.

The celebutantes all managed to escape and were then provided with flamethrowers, bean sprouts and jews to slaughter each other for the goal of being "the MOST pointless celebrity possessing something pointy". Jude Sarpong and Vlad the Impala. Jade Goody and Jodie Marsh and another set of boobies and a wildebeest were for the rest of the show made to do real work—by assisting The Producers in their anti-Semitic genocide, and poked with cattle-prods. The Celebrity Big Brother Genre was thus reborn.

[edit] Trivia

[edit] Next Season

The show is slated to return in the Fall. Here are the contestants:


Big Brother

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