Celebrity Deathmatch/Season1
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[edit] Info
This is a list of fights that aired during the first season, which was legalized, but all fights from before still aren't. The FBI still doesn't want them to be seen, though their nature happens to be different than that of the illegal version, most suspect that has to do with copyright problems.
[edit] Episode List
| Episode | Fight | Featuring | Winner | Cause of Death |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Welcome to Celebrity Deathmatch: Legal & Better Than Ever | Donald Trump vs. Rosie O'Donnell | Bill Gates and His Junkies | Donald Trump | Rosie O'Donnell: Ripped by Bill Gates junkies
Bill Gates and his junkies: Smashed by a Bill Gates statue in the middle of the ring. |
| Theodore Roosevelt vs. Franklin Roosevelt | Franklin D. Roosevelt | Franklin Roosevelt |
Theodore Roosevelt: Hung himself after learning he wasn't the greatest president ever. Franklin D. Roosevelt: Smashed by the ring. | |
| Al Gore vs. Mr. T | ManBearPig | Mr. T | Al Gore: Slashed open by ManBearPig.
ManBearPig: Flattened by audience because they were frightened because they thought Al Gore might be right for once. | |
| Madness Apocalypse | Oscar Wilde vs. The Man | Anonymous | Oscar Wilde | The Man and Anonymous: Ripped each other to shreds. |
| Janet Jackson vs. 20 Wikipedians | Samuel L. Jackson | 1 Wikipedian | 5 Wikipedians: Exploded by dynamite
3 Wikipedians: Spear stabbed through. 4 Wikipedias: Killed by poisonous snakes Samuel L. Jackson eventually caught. 6 Wikipedians: Drowned themselves from frustration. Janet Jackson: The last Wikipedian turned on Dora the Explorer, his favorite show, and because Janet hated it, it caused her to explode. | |
| Steve-O vs. This Guy | Steve-O | This Guy: Crushed by Steve-O | ||
| The Lie of Television | Dick Cheney vs. Steven Colbert | Dick Cheney | Steven Colbert: Shot in the brain by Dick Cheney by accident. | |
| Weird Al Yankovic vs. Billie Joe Armstrong | Al Gore | "Weird Al" Yankovic | Al Gore: Smashed by Billie's guitar thinking it was Weird Al Yankovic.
Billie Joe Armstrong: Dies of heart attack after Weird Al gave him some Doritos for no reason. | |
| Lewis Black vs. Bill Engvall | Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy | Blue Collar TV Comedians | Lewis Black: Jeff and Larry rip him to five peices. | |
| Blue Collar Bash | Gene Wilder vs. Oscar Wilde | Oscar Wilde | Gene Wilder: Oscar Wilde stares at him, killing him due to his awesomeness. | |
| Tom Cruise vs. Lindsay Lohan | Oprah Winfrey and Larry the Cable Guy (Fixed some spotlights) | Tom Cruise | Lindsay Lohan: Oprah Winfrey thinking this was her show and Lindsey was a doll, she ripped her spine out.
Oprah Winfrey: Smashed underneath couch by Tom Cruise who was over excited that he won the match. | |
| Jeff Foxworthy vs. Bill Engvall vs. Larry the Cable Guy | Ron White | No Winner | Jeff Foxworthy: Beaten to death by the audience because he sucked.
Larry the Cable Guy: Crushed by a giant spotlight he fixed before the fight. Bill Engvall and Ron White: More spotlights that Larry fixed fall down, smashing them. | |
| Battle of the Beast | Katie Holmes vs. Tom Cruise | Jerry Springer and John Travolta (Challenged Jerry Springer) | Katie Holmes | Tom Cruise: South Park fans rip him due to him being a total jerk. |
| John Travolta vs. Jerry Springer | John Travolta | Jerry Springer: Slashed to death by a mad audience because he shot them. | ||
| Medusa vs. The Wikipedia Monster | John Travolta | The Wikipedia Monster | John Travolta: Turned to stone by Medusa.
Medusa: Burned by the Wikipedia Monster. | |
| The Reign of Chuck Norris | God vs. Buddha | Chuck Norris | Chuck Norris | God and Buddha: Roundhouse kicked so hard they ceased to exist. |
| Moses vs. Jesus vs. Evil Jesus | Chuck Norris (Later kicked out of fight for they knew he would win) | Moses | Evil Jesus: Jesus made him cease to exist.
Jesus: Accidentally roundhouse kicked and exploded. | |
| Moses vs. Chuck Norris | Chuck Norris | Moses: Smashed to pieces. | ||
| Power Ranger Rage | Emo Rangers vs. Power Rangers | Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters from Beverly Hills | Emo Rangers | Power Rangers: Exploded while trying to think of how many episodes they have had.
Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters from Beverly Hills: All perish in the explosion of the Power Rangers. |
| Chuck Norris vs Jack Bauer | Lawyer | Chuck Norris | Jack Bauer: Lawyer comes to tell him he got sued, sued for his soul, and Chuck won it, so Chuck forced him to kill himself.
Lawyer: Chuck Norris chokes him because he wouldn't leave. | |
| Jay Leno vs. Carlos Mencia | Carlos Mencia | Jay Leno: Chin is ripped off, and smashed into face. | ||
| Comedian Knock-Out | Special Comedian Episode | Carlos Mencia and The Dufresnes | Demetri Martin | Drog The Misunderstood Caveman Comedian: Turned to mush by the time machine.
Clown Hitler: Ripped by mad audience. Atlanta Hawks: Burned by Carlos Mencia, angry he's not as a comedian. Assclown: But or...head?...whatever...shoved into the Other thing. Alan Davies: Smashed by Larry's last fixed spotlight. Alistar McGowan: Smashed in by Carlos Mencia. Bill Bailey, Charlie Chaplin, Charles Clarke, and Bill Cosplay: Sacrificed to Dave Chappelle by audience. Colin Mochrie: Smashed by what he thought was a sword prop by himself. George Carlin, Dave Chappelle, and Carlos Mencia: Rip each other apart in a fight. Dylan Moran, Garey Busy, Jim Bowen, and Jimmy Carr: Processed into paper by Demetri Martin so he can have actual jokes. Joker: Smashed by cards. John Stewart: Poisoned by Joker before he died. Josh Server, Ken Dodd, Marx Brothers, and Mr. Stingray: After Josh ripped off Mr. Stingray's sting...ray, he stabbed them, and got himself accidentally. Peter Kay and Mitch Hedburg: Mauled by the Dufresnes. The Dufresnes: Died of hunger. Ray Lewis, Ronnie Corbett, Timmy, and Tom Lehrer: Attacked by Wayne Brady. Wheely Willy, Wayne Brady, and Yakov Smirnoff: Used so Demetri Martin can get more jokes. Demetri Martin: Attacked by audience because they didn't like his performance. |
| The Power Machine | George W. Bush vs. George Dubya Bush | Lewis Black (Guest Commentator) | George Dubya Bush | George W. Bush: Tried to type "Save me now!" but since George Dubya Bush removed the "W"'s, it said "Save me no!" so they didn't help when he died from a stab in the heart. |
| Adolf Hitler vs. George Dubya Bush | Adolf Hitler | George Dubya Bush: Hitler used his Guitar to blow him up. | ||
| Cable the Larry Guy vs. Larry the Cable Guy | Ironman (The Larry the Cable Guy line up was a joke because Larry died), Oscar Wilde, and Chuck Norris | Chuck Norris | Cable the Larry Guy and Ironman: Were 2 of the 10 kicked from the one kick killing 10 in RuneScape | |
| 1 On 1 On 1 On 1 On 1 On 1 On 1 On 1 | Robin Hood vs. Bob the Builder | Robin Hood | Bob the Builder: Smashed in the head from a hammer because the talking-cars got really pissed off at him. | |
| A RuneScape battle to the death featuring Zezima, Harry Potter, Chef Boyardee, Jamie Oliver, Edward Elric, The Flash, Bob the Generic n00b, and Paul Bunyan | Cable the Larry Guy, Ironman, and Chuck Norris | Chuck Norris | Cable the Larry Guy and Ironman: Since fight was recorded during this fight, they got caught in the crossfire when roundhouse kicked in which they called "The Kick Heard 'Round the World."
Zezima, Harry Potter, Chef Boyardee, Jamie Oliver, Edward Elric, The Flash, Bob the Generic n00b, and Baul Punyan: All caught in "The Kick 'Heard Round the World," this made Chuck Norris a Runescape legend. | |
| Huff-a-Cat Day | Oscar Wilde vs. Bill Murray | The Dead Anonymous User | Oscar Wilde | Bill Murray: Huffed by the user. |
| Chuck Norris vs. The Wikipedia Monster | Chuck Norris | The Wikipedia Monster: Burned by the Huffing Group of the U.S.A after repeatedly roundhouse kicked. | ||
| Benson vs. King George III | Benson | King George III: Benson shoved a kitten down his throat trying to let him kitten huff, but instead kills him. | ||
| | Hindleyite vs. Mhaille | Hindleyite | Mhaille: Hindleyite uses Adobe Potatochop to make him into French fries. | |
| 24.163.65.156 vs. Mr. Briggs | Oscar Wilde | No Winner | No Deaths: They were banned from the arena due to trying to attack Oscar thinking that he was the other one. (They were blindfolded) | |
| DWIII vs. Codeine | Hindleyite | Hindleyite | DWIII and Codeine: As Hindleyite walks in to spice up the fight because they thought it was "uninteresting so far", they ripped out each others hearts making Hindleyite the winner without doing anything. |
